


the moment two hearts meet

by writerisms



Series: the moment two hearts meet [1]
Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Non AU, Slice of Life, 长得俊
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-19 17:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14878535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerisms/pseuds/writerisms
Summary: translation of a wonderful work entitled '心动' by 九妹九妹漂亮的妹妹 on LOFTER. hope you guys enjoy !





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> new chapters will be uploaded every Friday at 8pm EST // 12am GMT !

1.

Maybe handsome men were fated to be lonely. Their extraordinary good looks leave their souls to stick out like a sore thumb amongst the crowd; and Lin Yanjun was the perfect embodiment of this conclusion.

“Can you stop saying them already?” Across him, Lu Dinghao rolled his eyes. “Your jokes are really lame.”

“Really? I think it’s funny.” Lin Yanjun said.

Lu Dinghao’s eyes rolled towards the sky while he spoke, emphasizing on each and every word: “It’s. Really. Not. Funny.”

“I think it’s not bad.” Beside him, You Zhangjing’s voice appeared. “It’s pretty funny.”

Lin Yanjun never bothered to know if other people thought his jokes were funny or not. The reason why he said this joke was simply because he wanted to. He thought it was funny.

But for some reason he felt a little happy today. He looked at the person beside him who was happily eating away at his fat free meal he just got from the cafeteria. He asked while staring: “Is it good?”

Lu Dinghao said: “No it’s not.”

Lin Yanjun: “I didn’t ask you.”

You Zhangjing entered to pacify the situation once again: “I think it’s not bad.”

Lu Dinghao said: “Is there ever any food that tastes bad to you?”

You Zhangjing shot him a sudden glare, “Shut up.” before dipping his head to continue eating.

A playful thought went across Lin Yanjun’s mind, and he smiles.

 

2.

Lu Dinghao complained to Lin Chaoze: “Lin Yanjun is acting pretty weird lately. Did you notice that?”

They were walking out from the dorms. The sky was cloudy and the weather was chilly.

Lin Chaoze asked: “How is he acting weird?”

“He’s always smiling recently and it’s the really weird type. It’s pretty scary.” Lu Dinghao wrapped his arms around his small frame.

“Really?”

“Really.”

As soon as Dinghao answered, they could see the person they were talking about appearing around the corner. Alongside him, was You Zhangjing.

“What are you guys doing?” Both of them walked forward.

With his head bowed down, You Zhangjing fiddled with his down jacket as he spoke: “My zipper is broken - I can’t seem to zip it up.”

“Then don’t. The training area isn’t that far and you’re going to have to take it off soon anyways.”

“No.” Lin Yanjun who was by his side replied instead.

You Zhangjing waved his hands: “See! It’s not that I don’t wanna go, it’s that he wouldn’t let me.”

“Well why not?” Lu Dinghao asked.

“Because it’s very windy.” Lin Yanjun answered.

“What?” Lu Dinghao thought he heard wrongly.

“Because it’s very windy.” Lin Yanjun repeated.

“So?”

“So, he has to pull up his zipper.”

Lu Dinghao: “...”

“It’s fine.” You Zhangjing said. “I can just wrap it around myself while walking over.”

The four of them walked together, the cold wind blowing across their faces. Lin Yanjun reached out a hand and held on to the hood of Zhangjing’s down jacket before swiftly pulling it up to cover Zhangjing’s head.

You Zhangjing: “What are you doing?”

Lin Yanjun: “Your hood sucks.”

Lin Chaoze watched, completely stunned.

 

3.

“See,” Lu Dinghao and Lin Chaoze were following the other two up the stairs when Dinghao whispered: “I told you Lin Yanjun has been acting weird recently.”

Lin Chaoze’s eyes trailed the two in front of him closely while the wheels in his mind started to spin. He contemplates what Dinghao said. Lin Yanjun was always the type of straight guy who appeared cold on the outside but is actually warm on the inside. Sometimes he would give some thought enlightenment classes to his fellow trainees, but never to the point of asking if the other trainees have eaten or not, unless—

“Is he dating someone?” Lin Chaoze concluded.

“Dating?” Lu Dinghao furrowed his eyebrows, dissatisfaction apparent on his face as he looked at the other. “Who would you date here? We’re all guys and there can’t be any ‘online romance’ since we don’t even have our phones with us.”

“Maybe a staff member? I heard that a person in love would tend to be more considerate.” Lin Chaoze said.

“No way—” Lu Dinghao extended his voice as he spoke.

Lu Dinghao looked up at Lin Yanjun who was standing by the door to the practice room, talking with You Zhangjing.

“What time does your practice end in the afternoon?” Lin Yanjun asked.

“I don’t know.” You Zhangjing’s voice is soft. “Probably the same as yesterday.”

“Oh,” Lin Yanjun said. “I’ll be going then.”

“Bye,” You Zhangjing pushed the door open while waving goodbye with his small hands, before leaning outwards to say goodbye to the other two who were about to head upstairs, “I’ll be going in first, bye!”

Lu Dinghao waved back with a smile: “Bye!” before turning back to whisper in Lin Chaoze’s ear: “Try to secretly ask You Zhangjing about it later in the afternoon. He might know since they’re quite close.”

Lin Chaoze secretly signalled an ‘OK’ sign by his chest. Lu Dinghao continued: “You’re in the same group as Yanjun is so try to keep an eye out to see if he’s especially close with any female staff member.”

Standing by the hallway, Lin Yanjun placed his hands in his pockets after You Zhangjing closed the door and spoke to the other two who were still whispering on the stairs: “What are you guys secretly talking about that’s making you walk so slow?”

The two of them gave each other a look before walking towards Lin Yanjun.

Lu Dinghao was not in the same group as they were, so he said goodbye after reaching his practice room.

“We’ll be going then.” Lin Chaoze raised an eyebrow while looking at Lu Dinghao.

Lu Dinghao replied with a wink.

Lin Yanjun: “What are you guys up to?”

Lin Chaoze looked at him innocently before saying: “Nothing, we’re not up to anything.”

 

4.

“That’s it for today. You guys can practice on your own from here on out.” The vocal teacher said.

A row of good looking boys in blue standing in a row was indeed a feast for the eyes. However, the vocal teacher had been teaching for the whole afternoon and was so tired to the extent that there was simply no mood to admire such a view. The teacher swallowed a mouthful of water before speaking: “Ling Chao, you’re still...yeah, you’ll need more practice on your high notes. You’re still not really reaching them.”

Ling Chao nodded: “Thank you, teacher.”

“You should look around to see if there’s anyone in your group who can teach you or find someone from another group. As long as they can sing well, anyone is fine.”

After sending off the teacher, everyone took a rest by the wall. Having woken up early that morning, Ling Chao leaned his body against Mu Ziyang before getting some shuteye.

Lin Yanjun’s body swayed in the middle of the practice room as he paced back and forth, before finally walking towards Ling Chao.

Mu Ziyang: “What’s up?”

Lin Yanjun cleared his throat, “Have you found someone to help you with your singing?”

Ling Chao looked at him questioningly, unable to understand the meaning behind his words: “Not yet. You wanna teach me?”

“No,” Lin Yanjun said, “But you can look for You Zhangjing.”

Ling Chao only thought of him as a responsible leader carrying out his duties: “I’ve been planning to do just that. I’ll be going to his room tonight to look for him.”

“Oh,” Lin Yanjun nodded, turning away and before even taking two steps, he turned back and said: “Actually, you can get him to come here.”

Ling Chao: “But don’t they have practice now? Will he be free?”

“Oh, right,” Lin Yanjun said. “Forget it then.”

Mu Ziyang sat beside Ling Chao, his eyes focused on Lin Yanjun’s emotionless side profile while the gears in his mind turned for a few seconds. He nudged Ling Chao: “Xiao Di, go and look around the practice room next door. They don’t really have a lot of choreography to practice for so they might be free.”

At the end of his sentence, he looked back up at Lin Yanjun. The good looking guy’s face was still emotionless, but his eyes seemed to have brightened up.

Mu Ziyang: “...”

Ling Chao was still rather sleepy from the consecutive dance and vocal classes a while ago, so he grunted and simply refused to lift his head from Ziyang’s shoulder. Lin Yanjun stood in front of them, suddenly feeling a little awkward, but also glowing a little...like a light bulb. He thought back to when they were still in their company’s dorms, when You Zhangjing would sleep beside him and every morning he would wake up in the same unwilling manner.

 _I’m acting a little strange recently,_ Lin Yanjun thinks, _I can't stop thinking about You Zhangjing._

“Come along with me.” Ling Chao pleaded innocently while holding on to Mu Ziyang’s arm.

Helpless, Mu Ziyang stood up as he pulled up Ling Chao who was acting like a koala bear, before holding his hand as they walked off in search of You Zhangjing.

The two of them walked down the hall with the sound of music playing from other practice rooms. Ling Chao said: “Lin Yanjun is pretty nice. He’s concerned with his members. I think he’s not bad of a leader.”

Mu Ziyang: “...”

“Whatever you say.” Mu Ziyang said.

 

5.

After the both of them had left, Lin Yanjun started to think again. _When You Zhangjing smiled he would also hold on to his arm. But it’s always brief since he lets go quickly. Why can’t he be more like Ling Chao and hold on to him longer?_

He picked up a prop chair and placed it by the window of the practice room before sitting down, facing the floor-to-ceiling window to continue his contemplation. He calls it ‘contemplating’, but the truth is he’s just thinking about You Zhangjing.

Lin Chaoze’s head was filled with questions. Why was Lin Yanjun caught in a daze by the window? _My teammates are acting weirder each day. Is it because there’s something wrong with their heads? This is an emergency. I’ll be online until I get an answer._

 

6.

Over at this side, Ling Chao and Mu Ziyang were looking around in You Zhangjing’s practice room. Through the small glass opening on the door, they could see the trainees chatting away while seated on the floor. Their class probably just ended.

Ling Chao opened the door just by a fraction and waved his hands as he said: “You Zhangjing, come over for a while.”

The moment You Zhangjing saw him, he stood up and fixed his shirt before breaking into a small jog towards the door: “What’s up?”

Ling Chao: “Can you teach me how to hit my high notes?”

You Zhangjing: “Yeah sure. Now?”

Ling Chao: “If you’re free.”

You Zhangjing: “Yeah I am, come on in.”

Ling Chao had completely forgotten what Lin Yanjun said earlier about bringing You Zhangjing over. You couldn’t blame him though, after all he’s still just a young kid who had yet to understand such hidden meanings and implications.

He was just about to enter when Mu Ziyang held him back.

Mu Ziyang said: “Why don't you come over to our practice room? Our whole group is pretty interested in learning.”

Teacher You had always lived by the idea that helping people was a source of happiness. Thus the more students, the happier he is. So he said: “Okay.”

 

7.

Ling Chao held on to You Zhangjing’s arm while Mu Ziyang followed beside him. The three of them walked back to Firewalking’s practice room.

Ling Chao was talking to You Zhangjing about the candies he bought yesterday, when Mu Ziyang suddenly turned to his side and looked at them before asking: “You Zhangjing, is your relationship with Lin Yanjun pretty good?”

Ling Chao replied instead: “Why of course, they’re from the same company after all.”

You Zhangjing said: “Not bad. Why?”

Mu Ziyang said: “It’s nothing, I’m just asking. I see he’s rather concerned about you.”

Ling Chao questioned: “Really? Why don’t I see that?”

Mu Ziyang answered with an apparent dissatisfied look: “What can you even see?”

You Zhangjing: “Lin Yanjun has always been concerned about us. Don’t be misled by his fierce appearance, he’s actually a really nice person. He’s the type of person that has - how do you say this - a sharp tongue but a rather soft heart, I suppose?”

Ling Chao: “But he’s truly a nice person. He was the one who told me to look for you to teach me how to sing since our vocal teacher said I couldn’t hit my high notes.”

“See,” You Zhangjing smiled cheekily, “I told you he’s nice. He’s really considerate too.”

Although Ling Chao had never personally experienced Lin Yanjun’s considerate side, he still agreed to what his good friend had to say.

 

8.

The moment You Zhangjing entered, he noticed Lin Yanjun staring blankly at the curtains. He yelled out: “Lin Yanjun, what are you doing?”

Lin Yanjun heard the familiar voice and turned around to look at him, before using his consistently cold tone and replied: “Thinking about life.”

“Thinking about life…” You Zhangjing repeated with a smile. He could never understand Lin Yanjun’s train of thought.

Ling Chao pulled You Zhangjing to sit beside him by the wall as You Zhangjing began to teach. You Zhangjing knew how to sing ‘Firewalking’ and he admitted that there were some rather difficult notes in Ling Chao’s part.

Lin Yanjun turned his chair 180 degrees before sitting on it again. He stared at them practicing from half a practice room away, though specifically, he was staring at You Zhangjing.

You Zhangjing sat cross-legged on the floor, the corner of his undershirt peeking out from the sponsored ‘Skechers’ sweater, milky white ears hiding underneath his wavy brown hair.

You Zhangjing tried to find the key to the song while Lin Yanjun stared with a shady smile. The things You Zhangjing did were more effective in making him smile than his own lame jokes. Be it an action, a phrase or even a look was enough to pique his interest.

Lin Chaoze bore the heavy burden of observing Lin Yanjun. Even if his good friend You Zhangjing had stopped by, he didn’t forget his task and occasionally peeked at Lin Yanjun while sitting by You Zhangjing’s side.

Everyone was seated by the walls while Lin Yanjun moved a chair to sit in the middle of the practice room, like a statue in a crowded park but with that strange smile still on his face.

 _What Lu Dinghao said was right, Lin Yanjun really is smiling oddly,_ Lin Chaoze thought.

You Zhangjing taught for a while before resuming his conversation with Ling Chao.

You Zhangjing: “About that candy you were talking about just now, what brand is it?”

Ling Chao: “I forgot, but I know it’s the one I casually took from the counter while we were leaving. It has a metal casing, just about this big.”

Mu Ziyang leaned on the wall while watching Ling Chao as he tried to gesture the actual size of the casing with his hands before saying: “Why are you still talking about that candy? It didn’t even taste good.”

Ling Chao hit him softly and said: “If it didn’t taste good then why did you eat so many of them?”

Mu Ziyang forced out a laugh: “I only ate three - a strawberry flavoured one and two other apple flavoured ones. There are so many in that box and you have a problem with your Yang Ge eating just three?”

He grabbed on to Yue Yue who was beside him: “Lao Yue, help me out here. Is it too much for me to eat three of his candies?”

Lin Chaoze saw an opening and took the opportunity to whisper to You Zhangjing: “Do you feel like Lin Yanjun has been acting weird recently?”

You Zhangjing looked up impulsively, eyes immediately locking with Lin Yanjun’s who was still seated on that chair. Having been on this world for more than 20 years, Lin Yanjun had never been scared of meeting someone’s eyes. But for some reason at this moment, he felt a little diffident and looked away, pretending to have been staring at the white wall behind You Zhangjing.

 _Why do I feel this way?_ Lin Yanjun thought while staring at the wall. An answer went through his mind, but Lin Yanjun lets it slip from his fingers.

“How is he acting weird?” You Zhangjing said.

When he was asking this question his gaze was still fixated on Lin Yanjun while he wondered why was Yanjun caught in a daze again. His soft black fringe covered his forehead just like the lid of a pot.

You Zhangjing giggled suddenly. Lin Chaoze reacted dramatically by placing his hand on his chest before falling over. He said: “What is wrong with you guys?”

You Zhangjing said: “Lin Yanjun’s hairstyle is so funny.”

Lin Chaoze sat up: “Didn’t he always have this hairstyle?”

You Zhangjing: “I didn’t think it was funny before. But for some reason it looks funny today, this bowl cut-” He couldn’t help but laugh again.

Lin Chaoze: “Isn’t this the same hairstyle as the one you had last year? Your bowl cut last year was way ‘neater’ than his.”

You Zhangjing glared at him: “You talk too much.”

Lin Chaoze hugged Zhangjing’s arm before whispering: “Is Lin Yanjun dating?”

Baffled, You Zhangjing said: “How is that possible? Who would he date here?”

Lin Chaoze: “A staff member?”

You Zhangjing: “No way—”

Lin Chaoze: “We’re unsure, that’s why we came to ask you. Haven’t you realized that Lin Yanjun is more attentive than he was before?”

You Zhangjing: “What do you mean by that?”

“He’s just more considerate,” Lin Chaoze continued, “He even helped you put up your hood this morning. Don’t you realize that he’s more thoughtful now?”

You Zhangjing blinked: “Hasn’t he always been like this?”

 

9.

Lin Yanjun retained his position of staring blankly at the wall for another two minutes before finally giving up. He couldn’t help but to allow his eyes to wander towards You Zhangjing, and subsequently Lin Chaoze who was practically stuck unto You Zhangjing while he whispered to the elder.

Yanjun furrowed his eyebrows as a mysterious discomfort rose from his chest. It felt like someone had injected glue into his veins and allowed it to flow along his bloodstream all over his body, until it finally gathered in his heart, making it hard for him to breathe.

He sucked in a deep breath in an attempt to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling, but the sight before him continued to prick his eyes like a needle. He disliked looking at them, but he’d be more agitated if he didn’t look.

He opened his mouth with the full intention to ask You Zhangjing to come over to his side. Just as the words were at the tip of his tongue, he swallowed them all in again. _Why can’t he come over on his own? Why must I get him to come over? He might not even come over even if I called him. It might be better if I didn’t try at all._ Lin Yanjun had no idea why he was getting mad nor what he was getting mad about.

He stood up suddenly, shocking You Zhangjing who was secretly looking over at him. Lin Yanjun walked to the window, bent his waist and reached out his hands to rest on the railing as he looked to the ground.

Although Lin Yanjun’s questionable actions were of a normal occurrence, but this time You Zhangjing could feel an aura of low pressure around him. He whispered to Lin Chaoze: “Is Lin Yanjun in a bad mood?”

Lin Chaoze caught a glimpse of Lin Yanjun: “How am I supposed to know? I don’t know him as well as you do.”

“I’ll go check up on him.” You Zhangjing stood up and broke into a small jog across the practice room, towards Lin Yanjun’s side.

Lin Yanjun could feel someone approaching, and needless to say, he knew which silly person it was. He looked to his side and skimmed the elder for a short moment before coldly looking back on the ground again.

“What’s up with you?” You Zhangjing rested his hands on the railing and leaned close to ask. He could feel the cold stainless steel stick to his palms.

“What’s up with me?” Lin Yanjun retorted.

“Are you in a bad mood?” You Zhangjing pulled on the younger’s sleeve as he asked.

Lin Yanjun’s heartbeat quickened for a second as You Zhangjing’s milky white and slightly chubby hands held on to his sleeves. There was no skin contact between them, yet the skin which was closest to where Zhangjing’s hands were felt both numb and itchy.

 _What in the world is going on?_ Lin Yanjun panicked.

Although his mind was in a complete mess, his outward appearance remained calm. Lin Yanjun tried his best to suppress the raging emotions from within, causing him to accidentally swat away You Zhangjing’s hand. Although he had no idea what just happened, he felt that it was wise to first get rid of the reason why he’s flustered. If You Zhangjing doesn’t take his hands off, Lin Yanjun would go crazy.

“It’s nothing. I’m just tired from practice.” He said.

“Oh,” You Zhangjing nodded obediently, his wavy brown hair swaying before his eyes. “Then get some rest, I’ll go back first.”

Lin Yanjun thought, _he just came for a few minutes and now after speaking just 3 sentences with him, he’s leaving?_ Yet what came out of his mouth was: “Alright.”

After watching what looked like a pink ball leave the room, Lin Yanjun let out a breath which expressed his relief and also, disappointment. Since when did he start to feel this way? The voice in his head was gradually getting clearer, but Lin Yanjun had no courage to hold on to it.

 

10.

It was generally known that artistic youths liked to do two things the most. The first, was to investigate their own feelings, and the second, was to investigate their own feelings through a sorrowful book. Although Lin Yanjun’s outward appearance seemed to be slightly wild, he was actually an artistic youth deep inside. Thus, when Yanjun realized that his mind and heart could not communicate as smoothly as it used to, he knew it was time to reflect on certain things.

He sat in the cafeteria silently while eating his unappetizing lunch, the sound of his teammates chattering away around him clear to his ears.

Using his chopsticks, he picked up his rice and placed it in his mouth, thinking, _why would he feel uncomfortable looking at You Zhangjing and Lin Chaoze cuddling together? It was most definitely not because he was jealous. There was no way he would be jealous because of You Zhangjing._

At this moment, You Zhangjing who was sitting across said: “I still wanna eat drumsticks since they’re finally serving us drumsticks today.”

While he spoke he stuck out his head to look at the uncle who was in charge of giving out the food: “But there’s already no more.”

Chen Linong and Lin Yanjun were in the same team, so these days Linong was eating with them. He turned You Zhangjing’s head back, saying: “Aren’t you on a diet?”

You Zhangjing hits him lightly out of anger: “It’s all your fault for not allowing me to ask for one more drumstick. Now there’s no more.”

Chen Linong replied in his heavily accented Taiwanese: “You were the one who wanted to lose weight, so I have to supervise you.”

You Zhangjing turned speechless and unconsciously rolled his eyes before gloomily bowing his head to resume eating.

Chen Linong sneaked a few glances at You Zhangjing. After a few moments of inner conflict, he placed his own drumstick into You Zhangjing’s bowl.

You Zhangjing lifted his head up to look at him and Chen Linong lets out a cheeky laugh, saying: “Eat this. Just this one time, okay? There’ll be no more drumsticks tomorrow.”

“Thank you——” You Zhangjing felt as if his world became much brighter due to this drumstick, that the happiest thing in the world is when you have a friend who was willing to give you his drumstick and was coincidentally seated right beside you.

He picked up the drumstick gleefully, but before it could even enter his mouth, a loud “PAK” could be heard from across the table.

Lin Yanjun slammed his chopsticks on the table and picked up his tray with an uncertain look in his eyes. The dark shadows around his eyes seemed to darkened even more with the hint of a murderous aura. Without any emotion on his face, he said: “I’m full.”

With that, he left the cafeteria without another look, leaving his teammates to look at each other in confusion.

Lin Chaoze put down his chopsticks and held on to his collar, pretending to be so shocked to the extent that he almost couldn’t breathe: “What! Is! Wrong! With! Him!”

You Zhangjing placed his hand to the side of his mouth and with a small voice, said: “He’s too tired from practice, that’s why he’s in a bad mood.”

 

11.

Lin Yanjun faced the wall dejectedly. There was no one in the practice room. He raised one of his hands to the mirror while looking at the extremely handsome face, still in disbelief that he really was jealous.

You Zhangjing pushed the door open and entered. Through the mirror, Lin Yanjun watched as Zhangjing walked over, each step beating on his heart like a drum.

Why did I get jealous? The answer was already clear. Yet Lin Yanjun didn’t have the courage to believe it. He wanted to ignore this question and reject this answer, but You Zhangjing appeared behind him and placed his left hand on Yanjun’s dejected shoulder, asking him what’s wrong. There was always a kind and warm smile on You Zhangjing’s face. Usually, Lin Yanjun would never be bothered by such things, but at this moment this smile was like a flood, drowning him before pulling him away into unknown depths.

He took hold of You Zhangjing’s hand which was on his shoulder and raised it before the mirror. You Zhangjing’s hands were soft, his body temperature mirroring his own personality. As compared to Lin Yanjun’s cold ones, their hands seemed to reflect their completely opposite personalities.

They were very close to each other. Lin Yanjun dipped his head and looked intensely into You Zhangjing’s watery eyes. You Zhangjing had always been afraid of looking into people’s eyes, and now with the addition of the shock from Lin Yanjun’s odd actions, he took a step back impulsively, but was stopped by Lin Yanjun as he hold on tightly to Zhangjing’s wrist.

“What happened to you?” You Zhangjing asked nervously. “Your hands are sweating a lot.”

Lin Yanjun doesn’t answer. He couldn’t control himself. He just wanted to keep on looking into Zhangjing’s eyes and hold him in his hands like this. He said to himself mentally, _Lin Yanjun, quickly take your hands off, or else he’s going to get suspicious_. But it was as if his hands were no longer his; as if it had a mind of its own. It remained tightly wound around You Zhangjing’s milky white wrist, unmoving.

You Zhangjing thought that there’s definitely something wrong with his condition. Lin Yanjun looked afraid, what was he afraid of? Lin Yanjun was never the type to be afraid. He was self-centered but fearless, quiet but firm, whatever he could have he would fight to get it, what he couldn’t have he would never let his thoughts linger. Would this sort of people be afraid?

“Lin Yanjun, are you afraid?” You Zhangjing asked, uncertainty clear in his tone.

Lin Yanjun was afraid. He was afraid that he had fallen into the mud, and was even more afraid that he would be pulling You Zhangjing into the depths as well. Love was like the sudden shimmer and dimming of a spark. He didn’t know when it had already filled his heart, until a a prairie fire ignited the moment he noticed his feelings.

“Don’t be afraid.” You Zhangjing saw that he had turned silent, and he thought of the fact that tomorrow was the final day to vote. He thought Lin Yanjun was the same as he was, that he was the same as everyone in this place, worrying about what the future would hold. He used his other free hand to pat on the back of Lin Yanjun’s head, “I’ll always be with you, so don’t be afraid.”

The fire in Lin Yanjun’s heart seemed to almost swallow the both of them. He knew You Zhangjing didn’t have any other intention, but he still held on to this weak excuse, like a drowning person holding on to the one and only driftwood. He thought, _this is what you said, this isn’t only my fault, you have to take responsibility too for making me like you. So...you can’t blame me in the future_.

 

12.

Chen Linong entered, and upon seeing the position those two were in, he subconsciously said: “Sorry for disturbing you guys.”

After speaking though he couldn’t help but feel that there was something wrong with that he said. He wasn’t wearing his spectacles when he entered and could only see the blurry outline of their shadows which were shaped as if they were kissing, but there was only You Zhangjing and Lin Yanjun in this classroom. He closed the door to the practice room and walked towards them, asking: “What are you guys doing?”

He squinted so as to make his vision clearer. Lin Yanjun was very close to You Zhangjing, his hands were tightly wrapped around You Zhangjing’s while he glared at Linong.

Chen Linong was shocked. Wasn’t their relationship pretty good? So why was he staring daggers at him?

He walked over and placed a hand on You Zhangjing’s shoulder, and without another trace, pulled him back for another two steps. This time however, Lin Yanjun was willing to let go quickly and retracted the glare in his eyes. He ruffled his own hair, saying: “We weren’t doing anything.”

You Zhangjing said: “It was nothing.”

He was still a little worried about Lin Yanjun. He wasn’t sure if Lin Yanjun was afraid of the elimination on the day after tomorrow. To be honest, even he himself was feeling uneasy for the past two days. Lin Yanjun’s ranking wasn’t high and it couldn’t be said for sure that he could make it into the top 35 from the current 60. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like if Lin Yanjun was eliminated. He was too reliant on Lin Yanjun.

Chen Linong said: “Lu Dinghao was looking for you just now.”

You Zhangjing: “What for?”

Chen Linong: “I dunno, I think he has something to ask you.”

You Zhangjing looked at Lin Yanjun hesitantly, wanting to give him a few more words of assurance, but Lin Yanjun said: “I’m fine, you can go.”

“Are you really alright?” You Zhangjing asked.

“What happened to you?” Chen Linong asked curiously.

“Nothing,” Lin Yanjun’s eyes skimmed over Chen Linong’s hand which was still on You Zhangjing’s shoulder. “Let’s just start practicing our dance.”

 

13.

“I’ll be going then.”

You Zhangjing pushed the door open and left the room. Chen Linong tilted his head as he asked Lin Yanjun: “Were you guys quarreling?”

Lin Yanjun: “No.”

“Oh,” Chen Linong looked at Lin Yanjun knowingly. He thought back to how Lin Yanjun was looking at his hands which were wrapped around You Zhangjing’s shoulder, and how Lin Yanjun’s face suddenly darkened in the cafeteria. He said: “You’re very concerned about You Zhangjing.”

Lin Yanjun was warming up, and when he heard this he turned around to look at Linong. Chen Linong was very smart, the hidden inquiry which was evident in his tone was effectively covered. But Lin Yanjun was also smart. He understood what Linong was implying.

“Why do you say so?”

Chen Linong said: “I mean, I just think that the relationships between the trainees in your company are all really good. I came here alone so I’m kinda jealous.”

He looked around their practice room. This practice room was very small and squeezed in the middle of two big practice rooms. He said: “Did you know that there are no cameras in this room?”

Lin Yanjun said: “I know. Why do you ask?”

Chen Linong said: “It’s nothing much, I just think that there’s more freedom where there are no cameras around. Do you think You Zhangjing knows?”

Lin Yanjun stopped whatever he was doing and looked at the younger before saying: “What are you trying to say?”

Chen Linong said: “I think he doesn’t know.”

Lin Yanjun said: “He knows. He’s practiced here before.”

Chen Linong said: “Really? I see.”

Lin Yanjun walked towards the corner and turned on the speaker. But before the music started to play, he said: “If he doesn’t know, I’ll tell him.”

 

* * *

 

[ [permission](https://78.media.tumblr.com/3b903d5f06d9ca4c87db23508e2afa76/tumblr_pa1364nMmw1wq7il4o1_1280.png) l [source](http://qimeiqimeipiaoliangdemeimei.lofter.com/post/1f62970c_1298e8db) l original author: 九妹九妹漂亮的妹妹 ]

unauthorised distribution is **NOT ALLOWED**

if you have any comments for the original author do leave them down below and i will relay it to her !


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the support everyone ! as promised, here's another update. hope you guys enjoy !

14.

“You’ve left traces of food on your clothes again!” Lu Dinghao said.

You Zhangjing pushed Lu Dinghao away before using his hands to cover the oily stain on his chest. He angrily said: “Did you call me here just to say this?”

The two of them sat in Lu Dinghao’s practice room. No one was here yet since it was just past lunch time. Lu Dinghao was peeling off the shell of an egg as he spoke: “Is Lin Yanjun in a relationship?”

You Zhangjing said: “Why do you guys say so? Where did you get the egg from? I wanna eat one too.”

Lu Dinghao evaded You Zhangjing’s hands which were reaching over to steal to his egg: “I’m not giving it to you. You’re already this fat and you still want to eat?”

You Zhangjing raised his hand, ready to land a hit on him. Lu Dinghao wiggled around in an attempt to evade it. “Haven’t you noticed that Lin Yanjun has been acting weird recently?

You Zhangjing: “No.”

Lu Dinghao: “How is that possible?! He’s like a mother hen these days. I made a post on Weibo yesterday, and he commented! Lin Yanjun actually commented on someone’s post! Did you know what he commented?”

You Zhangjing: “Where did you get a phone from?”

Lu Dinghao ignored him and continued: “He commented that I shouldn’t be on the phone since you were asleep. What has anything that goes down in our room have to do with him? He’s overstepping his boundaries. I hate it.”

You Zhangjing said: “That’s because he knows that I can’t sleep if there’s lights on.”

Lu Dinghao said: “It’s not as if he’s the only one who knows that! You weren’t even asleep then and our lights weren’t even off yet. Since when have I ever been on my phone while you were asleep? He—”

“Okay, okay,” You Zhangjing cut him off. “What has this got to do with him being in a relationship?”

Lu Dinghao said: “People who are in love would tend to be like this … Tell me honestly. Is he in a relationship? I promise I won’t notify the company.”

“He really isn’t,” You Zhangjing said. “I just came here from where he was. He’s extremely worried about the elimination on the day after tomorrow. Where would he get the energy to be in a relationship?”

Lu Dinghao placed the egg shells into a plastic bag, then carefully tied up the ends. The moment he heard what You Zhangjing said, he couldn’t help but purse his lips. “Why is he worried? He’s ranked 19!”

You Zhangjing: “Just because he’s ranked 19 it doesn’t mean he won’t be eliminated. I’m worried about him too.”

Lu Dinghao: “Why aren’t you worried about me? I’m in more danger than he is, okay?”

You Zhangjing: “I’m worried about you too okay.”

Lu Dinghao was so angry that he almost choked to death on his egg: “What do mean by ‘too’? You Zhangjing, in your heart am I only a worth a ‘too’?”

You Zhangjing: “That was not what I meant!”

Lu Dinghao pounced on You Zhangjing: “You better make it clear now. Between Lin Yanjun and I, who is more important to you? If the both of us fell into the water, who would you save first?”

You Zhangjing wiggled his way out of Lu Dinghao’s arms and quickly made his escape to the door. While he was running he said: “I don’t know how to swim. I gotta go first, see you tonight.”

But before his hands could reach the door handle, the door was pushed open from outside. Dong Yanlei jumped in and yelled out: “Your Leizi suddenly appeared!”

Luo Zheng entered the room after Dong Yanlei. Because You Zhangjing almost hit his head, he said grudgingly: “Be careful. Are you prepared to use this punchline until next year?”

Dong Yanlei raised an eyebrow as he said: “Hey, You Zhangjing, why are you here?”

Lu Dinghao seized the opportunity and held You Zhangjing in a choke hold, unwilling to let him go: “Answer me quickly, between Lin Yanjun and I, who is more important?”

Dong Yanlei said: “Why, the trainees in your company still have this sort of competition?”

Lu Dinghao who was practically hanging himself on You Zhangjing, turned around to look at Dong Yanlei and said: “I’m willing.”

“Fine, you’re willing,” Dong Yanlei said helplessly. “Yesterday I saw Lin Yanjun playing that claw machine by the canteen. I mean, come on, how old are you guys? Yet you’re still here fooling around like kindergartners.”

“What claw machine?” Lu Dinghao asked.

Dong Yanlei: “The one they asked us to play during the New Year? They even recorded and released it as extra footage. You didn’t know about it? Isn’t that claw machine still outside the canteen?”

Lu Dinghao’s face was filled with suspicion: “Why would he try to get a toy out of nowhere? Where did he get the arcade coins from?”

The more he thought about it, the more suspicious it got. There was a high chance that Lin Yanjun was involved with a female staff member and got the arcade coins from her. Then, in order to make her happy, he wanted to get her a plush toy. Just when Lu Dinghao was about to give himself a pat on the back for his amazing analytical skills, You Zhangjing who was still being held in Dinghao's arms said: “Oh, I just remembered that I once mentioned that I liked the dog plush toy in the claw machine.”

 

15.

As the elimination day drew nearer, the trainees’ spare phones were also taken away by the staff. Lu Dinghao sat on a chair while his feet were repeatedly kicking the table lightly.

Lin Chaoze who had just finished washing up walked out from the bathroom and opened up the windows. The night breeze in March was cold, and it flowed into the room quickly. Lu Dinghao shuddered when he felt the coldness seeping in: “It’s so cold, don’t open the windows!”

Lin Chaoze: “Please, we’ve got to at least make sure that the air is flowing in this room!”

He looked out the window. The street was brightened by yellow lights and the leafless trees seemed to make the atmosphere more bleak than it already was. Occasionally there would be people walking by, but he had never been able to see who they were clearly.

“Where’s You Zhangjing?” Lin Chaoze asked.

“He went to the convenience store with Ling Chao.” Lu Dinghao said.

Dinghao dipped his head and fiddled with his fingernails for a short moment, before speaking suddenly: “Something’s not right.”

Lin Chaoze: “What’s not right?”

Lu Dinghao glanced at the unlatched door before pointing his finger towards the direction of the wall beside him. The room beyond this wall was Lin Yanjun’s. He whispered: “Lin Yanjun.”

Lin Chaoze also lowered his voice: “Haven’t we already asked You Zhangjing about it? There’s nothing going on.”

Lu Dinghao: “I still feel like—”

Someone pushed open the door and Lu Dinghao immediately closed his mouth. Lin Yanjun walked in the room, his left hand remained his pocket while his right hand was holding on to a dog plush toy.

“Where’s You Zhangjing?” Lin Yanjun asked.

While staring at the dog plush toy in his hand, Lu Dinghao said: “Bei Honglin isn’t in the dorm as well. Why don’t you ask about him?”

Lin Yanjun looked at him silently before tossing the dog over to You Zhangjing’s bed. There was a similar pig plush toy on the bed.

“Where did he go?” Lin Yanjun asked again.

Lu Dinghao looked at him wordlessly. Lin Chaoze had no idea what just went down, but he could sense that there was something wrong, so he said: “He went to the convenience store! He went with Ling Chao. Where else would You Zhangjing go if not the convenience store?”

Lin Yanjun’s eyes stopped briefly at the snacks on You Zhangjing’s table before looking towards the papers which were stuck on the wall. There were words in white on black paper which said: “You can’t eat anymore”. He scoffed, then left the room.

Lin Chaoze watched as his shadow disappeared from outside their door before waving his hands and said: “Everyone is under pressure nowadays; a _lot_ of pressure.”

When he finished he turned to look at Lu Dinghao who was seated beside him. Dinghao seemed to be caught in a daze with his eyes fixated on You Zhangjing’s bed.

Lin Chaoze: “What are you looking at?”

Lu Dinghao continued looking for a brief moment. Then, he suddenly pulled up his legs and wrapped his arms around them before slowly saying three alphabets with an evident tone of shock: “O! M! G!”

 

16.

You Zhangjing and Ling Chao were both holding plastic bags labelled with the name of the convenience store when they returned. At the corridor, they coincidentally met Lin Yanjun who had just been leaving.

You Zhangjing said: “Where are you going?”

Lin Yanjun: “The gym.”

You Zhangjing: “What are you gonna do at the gym so late at night?”

Lin Yanjun lowered his sight to look at the plastic bag in Zhangjing’s hand and said: “I’m gonna go for a run; unlike other people who only know how to eat and not exercise.”

You Zhangjing: “Are you talking about me?”

Lin Yanjun: “No, I wasn’t talking about you. I’m just talking about those people who would buy snacks from the convenience store in the middle of the night.”

Ling Chao: “Then I guess you’re talking about me.” He laughed.

Lin Yanjun: “You’re so thin. There’s no way I’m talking about you.”

You Zhangjing: “Lin Yanjun, you’re really annoying. Do you enjoy dissing me that much?”

“I’ll be taking my leave,” Lin Yanjun said, but remained unmoving and didn’t seem to have any intention of walking away, “We’re recording on the day after tomorrow. Are you sure that you still want to eat?”

“I’m exercising too, okay? It’s not as if I’m not exercising at all.”

“Did you go for a run today?” Lin Yanjun asked.

“Talk to you later,” You Zhangjing lowered his head and attempted to sneak past Lin Yanjun, but was stopped when Lin Yanjun reached out a hand to hold on to his arm. He took the plastic bag which was in You Zhangjing’s hand, passed it to Ling Chao and said: “Help him take it back to his room.”

With that said, he pulled You Zhangjing away. You Zhangjing couldn’t help but grumble as he walked unwillingly: “I don’t want to run today.”

“That won’t do.” Lin Yanjun said.

“The recording is on the day after tomorrow, it wouldn’t make any difference even if I exercised now.”

Lin Yanjun remained silent and continued to pull You Zhangjing into the elevator. He pressed on the elevator button and watched as the numbers go by on the screen. Beside the elevator, the security guard was dozing off in his seat.

“Could you at least let go of your hand? You grip is hurting me.” You Zhangjing said.

The moment Lin Yanjun let go of his hand, You Zhangjing turned around and tried to run, but was speedily pulled back by Lin Yanjun who enclosed him in his arms.

To be honest, You Zhangjing knew that it was impossible for him to escape. He just wanted to tease Lin Yanjun.

Lin Yanjun was much taller than he was, and his long limbs made it easy to wrap around You Zhangjing’s body. You Zhangjing could smell the scent of shampoo on his body. Then, someone walked past the elevator room. They couldn’t help but to turn and look curiously as to what was happening. The atmosphere became quiet suddenly. You Zhangjing could hear the sound of a strong and steady heartbeat from Lin Yanjun’s chest.

You Zhangjing became nervous out of nowhere. The clear and rhythmic sound of a heartbeat could be heard through their bones and drifted into Zhangjing’s ears. He thought back to a movie entitled 'Flipped' (directly translated as 'a heart suddenly skipping a beat'). He couldn’t remember the plot, but the name of the movie was enlarged in his mind and seemed to continuously circle around in his thoughts.

You Zhangjing’s ear became red and warm, his mind empty of any thoughts. He called out to Lin Yanjun by his name, but was unsure of what to say next.

Yet another person walked past the elevator room. But this time, the moment the door to the elevator opened with a ‘DING’, Lin Yanjun released him and pushed him into the elevator.

 _They had yet to do any exercise, so why was Lin Yanjun’s heart beating so fast?_ You Zhangjing thought while staring at the ground, his ears echoing with the sound of his own heart beat.

 

17.

Ling Chao placed the plastic bags on You Zhangjing’s table. Lu Dinghao was applying a facial mask while lying on his bed when he saw Ling Chao enter the room. He asked: “Where’s You Zhangjing?”

Ling Chao said: “He got dragged away by Lin Yanjun to go running.”

Lu Dinghao: “...”

Lin Chaoze was munching away on an Oreo said: “Do you want an Oreo?”

Ling Chao walked over, leaned on the table and took a bite out of an Oreo before he spoke: “Sometimes Lin Yanjun can be quite scary.”

Lin Chaoze: “What did he do?”

Ling Chao: “He didn’t do anything. It’s just that sometimes he can look quite fierce. Maybe it’s because he was born that way.” He ended with a nervous laugh.

“You haven’t seen him when he’s really angry,” Lu Dinghao sat up from the bed with his mask still on his face, his hands clawing through the air. “ Its! Really! Scary!”

Ling Chao nervously laughed again and said: “You Zhangjing said he’s someone with a sharp tongue but a rather soft heart and he’s usually considerate to you guys.”

“Considerate?” Lu Dinghao exclaimed loudly. “Considerate???”

Lin Chaoze spoke in English then: “What?” before quickly swapping back to Mandarin. “Are you sure you understood the meaning of the word ‘considerate’ correctly?”

Ling Chao: “Is it not true? I think he’s a rather nice person.”

Lin Chaoze ate his chips noisily: “He can be quite nice...”

“But not to the point that I would say he’s considerate.” Lin Chaoze continued.

“Really?” Ling Chao asked.

“Maybe he’s just that little bit considerate nowadays,” Lin Chaoze gestured with his hand. “Just a tiny little bit.”

“Fine,” Lin Chao said. “But You Zhangjing—”

“Can you fully trust what You Zhangjing says?” Lin Chaoze said. “He’d compliment everyone until their egos reach the sky.”

“He’s only considerate to You Zhangjing.” Lu Dinghao who was sitting on his bed suddenly said.

“What?” Lin Chaoze asked.

Lu Dinghao peeled off his mask and threw it into the rubbish bin beside the bed, before saying with a stunned expression: “I said, Lin Yanjun is only considerate to You Zhangjing. Did you guys not notice that?”

 

18.

You Zhangjing followed Lin Yanjun to the gym. Zhou Rui was there, sweating bullets while running on the treadmill whereas Jeffrey had already finished exercising and was ready to return to his dorm.

“Hey bro,” Jeffrey greeted the both of them before taking two eggs out of his bag. “Do you guys wanna eat some eggs?”

You Zhangjing had barely reached out his hands when he was blocked by Lin Yanjun: “He’s not eating. Don’t give it to him.”

“Oh, alright then,” Jeffrey kept the eggs back into his bag. “I’ll be going then.”

After Jeffrey left, You Zhangjing said: “Hey, I don’t think it’s right to reject a person’s good intentions.”

“There’s nothing wrong about it,” Zhou Rui who was on the treadmill said, “He has a whole box of them and they’re about to expire. That’s why he’s giving them out to whoever he sees.”

“You won’t get fat from eating eggs,” You Zhangjing mumbled as he got up the treadmill beside Zhou Rui, “He won’t even let me eat an egg.”

Lin Yanjun also got up a treadmill: “As long as you’re eating something that will enter your stomach, you’ll get fat from it.”

You Zhangjing wanted to retort but was interrupted by Zhou Rui.

“Stop holding a grudge.” Zhou Rui said while panting.

You Zhangjing was reminded that Zhou Rui was trying to lose weight as well. As compared to Zhangjing, he had the determination and thus the fruit of his efforts were clear. Zhangjing couldn’t help but to feel ashamed at this. Just as he was about to put his feet down to learn from Zhou Rui, he heard Zhou Rui continue: “Hold me instead.”

You Zhangjing: “...”

You Zhangjing looked over at Lin Yanjun helplessly while thinking that it was all his fault for starting the trend of cheesy pick-up lines until it had spread to everyone in this place. Lin Yanjun smiled faintly while looking back at him. You Zhangjing turned on the machine and said: “Ridiculous.”

“Zhou Rui, what’s your horoscope?” Lin Yanjun asked.

“Virgo.”

“Guess what’s my horoscope.” Lin Yanjun asked again.

“Aries?”

“No,” Lin Yanjun said, “I was made specially for you.” ******

The two of them continued to ‘battle’ for a few rounds. You Zhangjing who was on the treadmill between them laughed while he ran. It was bad enough that Lin Yanjun had a lot of cold jokes up his sleeve, now there was also Zhou Rui who Zhangjing had no idea where he picked up all these comedic lines from. Finally, Zhou Rui said: “I’ve ran eight kilometers already.”

He turned off the treadmill and took off his cap, revealing a head full of sweat causing his hair to stick to his face. Lin Yanjun watched as he got down from the treadmill. Just as he was about to walk away, he said to Zhou Rui: “Don’t let me see you again.”

Shocked, Zhou Rui raised his head to look at Yanjun. Lin Yanjun said: “Or else I’ll fall in love with you each time I see you.”

Zhou Rui: “...”

“You win, you win,” Zhou Rui said, “I’ll dismiss myself. You can continue saying them to You Zhangjing instead.”

**** In Mandarin, the word ‘horoscope’ is read is ‘xin zuo’ while ‘specially made for you’ is read as ‘wei ni liang zhen ding zuo’. The pick-up line is a pun on the word ‘zuo’.**

 

19.

After Zhou Rui left, the gym became eerily quiet. Lin Yanjun continued running silently beside You Zhangjing. You Zhangjing asked: “Why don’t you continue saying them?”

“Say what?”

“What you were saying just now.”

“What was I saying just now?” Lin Yanjun asked, though it was obvious he knew the answer.

You Zhangjing wanted to say ‘cheesy pick-up lines’, but was stuck at the term ‘pick-up lines’. For some reason he just couldn’t seem to say them. The simple words were enough to quicken the pace of his heartbeat. You Zhangjing couldn’t decide if the reason why his heartbeat was picking up was due to the running or because he got nervous.

 _What are you getting nervous for?_ You Zhangjing asked himself mentally.

“Hey, why aren’t you talking? What did I say just now?” Lin Yanjun asked with a curious expression.

You Zhangjing glared sharply at him. Lin Yanjun smiled widely, causing his dimples to appear.

“So what is it now?” Lin Yanjun said. “You want to listen to my pick-up lines?”

“No.” You Zhangjing denied. _What’s wrong with this guy? Cheesy pick-up lines are cheesy pick-up lines. Why did he have to get rid of the word ‘cheesy’?_

“I want to listen to Karen Mok’s ‘Overcast’ (directly translated as ‘cloudy day’).” Lin Yanjun changed the topic suddenly.

You Zhangjing was a little angry. _You’re not gonna say them just because I said I don’t wanna hear them? Then why do you always say them to other people?_ He said sulkily: “I don’t want to sing.”

“I wanna hear, I wanna hear,” Lin Yanjun said. “I wanna hear, I wanna hear.”

It’s really scary when a 180cm guy starts to act coquettishly. You Zhangjing couldn’t help but to sing while running.

“ _An overcast day, in a room with no lights on. Mood is sinking little by little—_ ”

You Zhangjing had only sung two sentences when Lin Yanjun spoke again: “I want to listen to Stefanie Sun’s ‘Rainy Day’.”

You Zhangjing rolled his eyes before singing again: “ _You can sympathize, I have rainy days. Sometimes I’m afraid, you can understand—_ ”

“Hey, I also want to listen to Jay Chou’s ‘Fine Day’ (directly translated as ‘sunny day’).” Lin Yanjun said.

“Are you done yet?” You Zhangjing said. “I’m really tired from running.”

“It’s the last one.”

“ _The spring flower of the story floats from that year when it was born. Swinging on a swing in childhood—_ ”

“Did you know that,” Lin Yanjun looked at him seriously as he said: “There are cloudy days, rainy days and sunny days, yet none of them can compare to the days of when I’m with you.”

You Zhangjing could hear his own heartbeat again. With each beat, the sound gradually spread outwards from his heart, surged into his veins, permeated the air until it finally reached Lin Yanjun’s intensely concentrated gaze.

There was a buzz in You Zhangjing’s mind. His eyes were unfocused; one moment he’s avoiding Lin Yanjun’s line of sight and the next, he would be directly looking at into Yanjun’s eyes. Lin Yanjun was still running while his fluffy black hair fluttered up and down on the top of his head. His head was turned sideways, clear and bright eyes fixated on You Zhangjing.

You Zhangjing’s could feel his face warm up and his legs were beginning to weaken. He turned off the treadmill and got down from it, all the while not looking at Lin Yanjun. Lin Yanjun turned off his treadmill as well. While he was slowing down his pace, he asked: “Where are you going?”

You Zhangjing: “I’m going to see if the door is locked.”

Lin Yanjun hopped down from the treadmill and followed behind You Zhangjing. You Zhangjing locked the door. He could feel someone leaning close behind him, someone whose body was emitting heat from having just exercised.

You Zhangjing turned around slowly. With a hand on the wall, Lin Yanjun lowered his head, staring at him as he said: “What are you locking the doors for?”

“Nothing,” The two of them were too close. You Zhangjing wanted to take a step back, but he could only lean on the door, “I have a habit of locking doors. Don’t you know that?”

Lin Yanjun gazed intensely at him: “There is nothing about you that I don’t know.”

You Zhangjing got more nervous. He bit his lip and looked up at Lin Yanjun for a quick moment before turning away, trying to see if he could slip away from the side. But he was stopped when Lin Yanjun reached out a hand to block his path.

You Zhangjing’s flustered and shy emotions were apparent in his eyes and caused what seemed like a string to break in Lin Yanjun’s mind. He pushed You Zhangjing towards the door and asked: “What are you hiding from?”

“I’m not hiding,” You Zhangjing said, though his mind was thinking otherwise. “I want to continue running.”

“You want to continue running?” Lin Yanjun said.

“Yes,” You Zhangjing was so nervous to the extent that he was beginning to stutter. “Y-You’re acting a little strange today.”

“Alright,” Lin Yanjun nodded and let go of the hand which was blocking him. “Continue running then.”

“Can I?” You Zhangjing asked, though he had no idea why he couldn’t continue running. He had a wild guess in his mind; a guess about why Lin Yanjun was acting weirdly today, but he didn’t have the courage to continue thinking about it.

“You can,” Lin Yanjun said. “Go on, I’ll run with you.”

The two of them returned on the treadmill, but the atmosphere was way more silent than it was before. You Zhangjing didn’t dare to look at the person beside him. His wild thoughts occupied his mind. He walked stiffly like a robot until a knock was heard from outside.

Lin Yanjun opened the door. Zhou Rui who had just finished showering walked in with his towel hanging on his neck.

“Why did you guys lock the door? What kind of secretive things were you guys doing?” Zhou Rui said bluntly.

“Nothing!” You Zhangjing denied quickly.

“I was just joking, look how nervous you got.” Zhou Rui said.

You Zhangjing’s face which was already red from running went a shade darker than before and he could feel his ears heating up. He looked up and saw Lin Yanjun who was standing behind Zhou Rui, looking back at him from afar with a ghost of a smile.

“What did you come back for?” Lin Yanjun asked.

“I left my water bottle here. Why, did I disturb you guys?”

“Honestly, yes.” Lin Yanjun said.

“Sorry, sorry,” Zhou Rui waved his hands before taking his bottle quickly and ran off. Just as he was about to shut the door, he said: “May the both of you live a long and happy life together and have a child soon.” ******

**** These are blessings commonly conveyed to the bride and groom during a wedding ceremony.**

 

20.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Lu Dinghao asked.

You Zhangjing who had just finished showering sat by his bed, wearing a pink hoodie and a pair of bohemian pants. His hands gripped on the sides of the bed as he stared blankly at the ground. Lu Dinghao was preparing a cup of sesame soup for himself, blowing on it as he stirred.

 _What in the world was Lin Yanjun trying to do?_ You Zhangjing thought. _Why did he have to look at me with such an intense gaze while saying those cheesy pick-up lines?_ There was something which he did not dare to allow his thoughts to dwell on, for he figured it was impossible. Yet it was precisely this thought which seemed to continuously spiral in his mind.

_Does Lin Yanjun like him?_

Once a seed of thought was planted, it was impossible to prevent its subsequent growth. On the one hand You Zhangjing told himself to stop overthinking it, yet on the other he couldn’t stop the image of Lin Yanjun’s smirk and serious gaze from appearing in his thoughts. He leaned back and fell on the bed. It was then that he felt a small object being pressed underneath his body.

You Zhangjing took out the object and noticed that it was the dog plush toy from the claw machine. Two days ago, he had casually mentioned that he liked the dog plush toy in the claw machine. Who would’ve thought that Lin Yanjun actually remembered it and even went ahead to get it for him.

He took up the pig plush toy from the side of his pillow as well. With one plush toy in each hand, he looked closely at them from the left to the right, then back again for a few more times. He thought then, _did Lin Yanjun get these plush toys for me because he likes me?_ But he quickly denied that thought, thinking that he might be too full of himself to assume that someone liked him just because he got himself a few plush toys.

“You Zhangjing!” Lu Dinghao called out again, unhappy that he had been ignored.

Only then did You Zhangjing lift his head. Lu Dinghao was stirring his cup with a spoon, causing the metal spoon to make loud clinks when it hit the inner walls of the cup. He said purposely: “I want that dog.”

You Zhangjing immediately pulled the dog in his arms: “No!”

“Then I want that pig.”

“No,” You Zhangjing said. “If you want one, go and get them yourself.”

Lu Dinghao pouted as he rolled his eyes: “I think the reason why you don’t want to give them to me is because it was Lin Yanjun who got them for you.”

“No—” Alarm bells were ringing in You Zhangjing’s head. _What did Lu Dinghao mean? Did he notice that he had been thinking about Lin Yanjun? But wait, that didn’t so_ _und right. What thoughts could he have about Lin Yanjun? Wasn’t it Lin Yanjun who had thoughts about him? No, that’s not right either. Lin Yanjun didn’t have any thoughts about him!_

“Then give me one.” Lu Dinghao said.

“No.”

You Zhangjing shoved both the plush toys underneath his blanket, covering them completely. Lu Dinghao went quiet and opted to drink his sesame soup instead.

It was then that Chen Linong entered: “Where’s You Zhangjing?”

Lu Dinghao: “Where’s You Zhangjing, where’s You Zhangjing, where’s You Zhangjing. I think ninety-nine people out of the hundred in this place have come looking for You Zhangjing at least once.”

“Hey, there’s only sixty of us left.” Chen Linong reminded.

“What’s up?” You Zhangjing asked.

Chen Linong: “I wanted to ask you to come to the convenience store with me. I’m a little hungry.”

You Zhangjing: “No thanks. I just came back from there and went running after. I’m really tired now.”

Chen Linong said: “You went running today?”

Lu Dinghao: “Lin Yanjun dragged him there. Did you really think he would go on his own?”

“I see,” Chen Linong said. “Then I guess I’ll have to go alone. Since you can go to the convenience store with other people and I’ll just have to go alone…”

As he turned around to leave, he sang while he walked: “ _What I missed, is being able to share everything. What I missed, is making—_ ”

“Fine!” You Zhangjing stood up, “I’ll go with you. You’re really annoying, you know that?”

* * *

[ [permission](https://78.media.tumblr.com/3b903d5f06d9ca4c87db23508e2afa76/tumblr_pa1364nMmw1wq7il4o1_1280.png) l [source](http://qimeiqimeipiaoliangdemeimei.lofter.com/post/1f62970c_129d51c5) l original author: 九妹九妹漂亮的妹妹 ]

unauthorised distribution is  **NOT ALLOWED**

if you have any comments for the original author do leave them down below and i will relay it to her !


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thank you for the lovely comments and constant support for this fic ! also, there is an important note at the end after the credits so make sure to check it out. with that said, i hope you guys enjoy this chapter, it was really fun to translate !

21.

You Zhangjing took his down jacket and was putting them on as he walked down the corridor with Chen Linong. Chen Linong pulled You Zhangjing into his own dorm and asked while they stood at the entrance: “I’m off to the convenience store, do you guys have anything you want me to get?”

Lin Yanjun was reading a book while lying down on the top bunk. There wasn’t anything in particular that he wanted to eat, so he didn’t even raise his head when he heard Chen Linong’s voice. He was reaching the end of the book entitled ‘ _The Fisherman_ ’ which was held in his hands with only a few pages left before he would be done. He remained focused on his book, and just when he reached the sentence which said ‘I moved over step by step as my heart beat wildly in my chest’, he heard the voice which had been surrounding his thoughts for the whole day.

“Are you eating _Wei Lih Men_?”

You Zhangjing walked into the room and leaned forward to take a peek at the noodles on Xu Kaihao’s table.

“Yeah,” Xu Kaihao said, “You like to eat this too?”

“It’s really hard to get one,” You Zhangjing walked to his side. “Did you bring this from Taiwan?”

“Nong Nong gave this to me. It’s the last one I have; do you want to have a bite?” Xu Kaihao pushed the cup over to him.

You Zhangjing swallowed. Just when his hands were beginning to lift up, a thought suddenly crossed his mind and he looked up at the double decker bed right across him.

Lin Yanjun was looking at him without any emotion, his book still held in his hands.

You Zhangjing’s hands went stiff in the air. He was just about to retract his hands to say he’s not eating when Chen Linong walked over quickly to hold on to his wrist: “Hey, don’t do it. Kaihao, don’t let him eat it, he’s on a diet.”

“Oh~” Xu Kaihao nodded. “Then what are you going to the convenience store for?”

“He wanted me to go with him.” You Zhangjing said.

“Oh~” Xu Kaihao nodded again. “There’s nothing I want from there.”

Chen Linong looked to the side and asked the same of Lin Yanjun and Li Changgeng. Li Changgeng merely waved his hands while Lin Yanjun said: “Nothing.”

“Okay,” Chen Linong said. “Let’s go then.”

He turned around and was prepared to leave when he noticed that You Zhangjing’s down jacket was not zipped up, showing the sports outfit he was wearing underneath.

“This won’t do.” Chen Linong said before reaching out to help You Zhangjing zip it up. “You’ll catch a cold easily like this.”

You Zhangjing stood still, slightly pouting while his eyes wandered. He didn’t know why, but the thought of Lin Yanjun watching him from the bed made him feel guilty.

“You Zhangjing.” Lin Yanjun spoke with no emotion whatsoever in his words. “Don’t you have hands?”

Flustered, You Zhangjing took a glimpse at him before quickly turning back and said to Chen Linong: “Let me do it myself. It’s rather difficult to zip this up…”

“It’s okay already.” Chen Linong pulled up his zip for him before looking up at Lin Yanjun. They looked at each other for a few seconds, and then Lin Yanjun quietly shifted his attention back to his book.

“Let’s go.” Chen Linong said.

 

22.

The dark night had enclosed the sky above the British-styled building as You Zhangjing and Chen Linong walked under the streetlights. At a distance, a few fan girls were still seated outside the fence.

Chen Linong was wearing a grey jacket with a cap on his head. He waved at the girls outside the fence, causing a small ruckus. He scratched his head from underneath the cap and said: “I think I’m really good looking, don’t you think so?”

“Yeah, yeah...” You Zhangjing said half-heartedly.

Chen Linong: “Hey, I could sense that your heart was not into that answer.”

“The guys in your dorm are so full of themselves.” You Zhangjing said. “Lin Yanjun looks into the mirror every day. I suspect that even such a trait can spread like a virus.”

“Oh, no,” Chen Linong said. “I was born with such ego.”

The two of them reached the entrance of the convenience store when they met Xiao Gui who was walking out. When he saw them he casually said in English: “Hey, man. What’s up?”

You Zhangjing was not familiar with Xiao Gui, so he opted to just raise his hand and greet him with a: “Hi.”

Xiao Gui was munching on something when he nodded at them slightly after the greeting and walked off. You Zhangjing looked back at his silhouette. His braids were pulled together into one giant ponytail with a rubber band. It looked similar to a broom.

“Xiao Gui’s hair is so cool.” You Zhangjing said with a jealous tone.

“He’s a really cool person as well.” Chen Linong walked to the shelves and took two bars of chocolate. “You too should try out his hairstyle.”

You Zhangjing walked over to him: “That’s impossible. It attracts too much attention and I don’t think I would dare to try it.”

He reached out a hand and took hold of a bag of chips, but eventually placed it back unwillingly: “I think Lin Yanjun could try it.”

Chen Linong smiled: “I can already imagine that.”

The two of them circled around the shop once before Chen Linong decided to pay at the counter with a basket full of snacks. You Zhangjing followed behind him with empty hands.

While the cashier was checking out the items, You Zhangjing was reminded that Lin Yanjun’s box of bread was almost empty, so he said: “Hey, wait for a moment. I need to get some bread for Lin Yanjun.”

You Zhangjing ran off to get the bread, leaving Chen Linong to stare at his silhouette. The cashier had completed the check out and asked: “Do you want a plastic bag?”

Chen Linong turned back and said: “Yes.”

“Cash or Alipay?”

“Cash,” Chen Linong said. “My phone got taken away again.”

The cashier nodded understandingly before putting the items into the bag. You Zhangjing brought over two bags of bread to the counter. Chen Linong asked him: “Hey, why does Lin Yanjun like to eat bread so much?”

“Beats me,” You Zhangjing passed the bread over to the cashier. “Sometimes you don’t need a reason to like something.”

“That’s true.” Chen Linong said.

The two of them walked out of the convenience store. The street lights illuminated the quiet street. The cold wind flowed swiftly from his collar into his down jacket. The signs of spring which were hidden in the trees remained unseen.

Chen Linong raised his head to look at the dark night sky. The moon was blocked by the clouds and there was not even a star to be seen in the sky.

“Today’s weather don’t look too good.” Chen Linong said.

“Yeah,” You Zhangjing nodded. “The weather nowadays isn’t so good. Lin Yanjun said it’s going to rain tomorrow.”

Chen Linong’s hands were slightly cold. He hung the plastic bag on his wrist and tucked both his hands into his pockets in hopes of warming them: “You guys have a really good relationship with each other.”

“Really?” You Zhangjing said, feeling a little guilty.

“You keep on talking about him.” Chen Linong said.

You Zhangjing was getting a little nervous. He was afraid that Chen Linong had noticed something, but at the same time he was unsure if there was even anything between him and Lin Yanjun.

“You Zhangjing.” Chen Linong called out.

You Zhangjing looked up at him. Under the night sky, Chen Linong was smiling at him, revealing a row of white teeth.

“I see you as a really close friend.” Chen Linong said.

Suddenly, You Zhangjing was reminded of the first time he saw Chen Linong. He was wearing a pink top when he smiled brightly at the hundred seats before him. The guy who sang “Girl” under the shining lights and the guy standing underneath the yellow street lights before him now seemed to blend into each other. In the blink of an eye, three months had already passed.

“Me too,” You Zhangjing said. “Why do you say this so suddenly?”

Chen Linong looked towards the path before him: “When I first arrived, I thought that as long as I did my best, everyone was bound to like me.”

The two of them made a turn over the road and walked towards the entrance of the dorms. Chen Linong continued: “But after that I realized that this was not the case. Sometimes you will think that what you’re doing is right. But,” He sighed. “It might not be okay in other people’s eyes.”

Chen Linong could see a silhouette leaning by the wall of the entrance. You Zhangjing was looking at Chen Linong who was beside him, so he failed to notice it.

“What I want to say is that, everyone has different opinions. So how is it possible for me to let everyone think I was really okay? I do one thing, someone will dislike it; I do the other, another person will dislike it too,” Chen Linong stopped walking. “So—”

You Zhangjing stopped as well. He asked: “So what?”

“So just be yourself. Do what you like to do, and hold on to the person you like.”

 

23.

As if he could feel something in the air, You Zhangjing looked up and saw Lin Yanjun standing there through the array of leafless trees below the dorms. Chen Linong’s words were like a sudden awakening, affecting the times which have passed before this moment. You Zhangjing always avoided doing things which were out of line. He was tired of the odd looks people gave him and was used to the insecure feeling of obtaining something just to lose it in the next moment. With talent as his trump card, he built up his courage and stepped into this intricate and complicated world of entertainment. Yet he remained cautious, always covering his front and looking back, afraid to step out of line in this field where magnifying glasses were situated everywhere.

He was helpless when it came to his timid behaviour, but he also didn’t have the bravery to move forward. However it was at this moment, that Lin Yanjun appeared.

Lin Yanjun was like a lone wolf, bringing an aura of fearlessness as he walked up the path of a trainee. Having struggled out from the field of thorns of the previous company, he continued to chase after his dreams despite being covered in scars and wounds. He crawled down the dark path with the firm belief that he would see the light someday.

You Zhangjing loved how he could walk forward bravely and boldly, loved how he preferred to move ahead independently and loved how he was always unable to predict Yanjun’s moods. Lin Yanjun and he were like two ends of a magnet. They could stand alone yet would always be attracted to each other. He could walk into his remotely perverse world, and also walk out of his endless swirl of excessive sensitivity and low self-esteem.

You Zhangjing walked slowly around the patch of grass. Lin Yanjun’s face which was initially covered by the tree branches were gradually taking over his line of sight and at the same time, the image of his face was filling up his heart as well. He could hear his heart beating loud and clear in this silent night. He walked over and asked: “What are you doing here?”

“I’m looking at the moon.” Lin Yanjun said.

“But you can’t see the moon tonight.” You Zhangjing said.

Chen Linong followed after and pretended to look surprised: “Eh? Lin Yanjun, why are you here?”

Lin Yanjun remained silent. Chen Linong looked at him, then at You Zhangjing: “Do you guys have something to say to each other? Then I’ll go up first.”

Chen Linong’s silhouette disappeared down the corridor. You Zhangjing raised his head to look at the sky. He asked: “Does the moon look nice?”

Lin Yanjun stared at Zhangjing’s chin which was so white that it seemed to glow, and said: “It does.”

You Zhangjing passed Yanjun the bread which was in his hands. He wanted to ask if Yanjun was waiting for him, but thought again that judging by Lin Yanjun’s usual train of thought; it wouldn’t be odd for him to come out at such a cloudy night to play hide-and-seek with the moon.

A side of Lin Yanjun’s lips tugged upward as he took the bread from his hands. He said: “I have yet to finish eating my supply of bread.”

You Zhangjing: “Then give it back.”

Lin Yanjun: “Why would I give it back? So you can eat it and gain weight?”

You Zhangjing pushed him slightly: “What exactly did you come down here for?”

Lin Yanjun: “I came to see if you were secretly out eating.”

You Zhangjing: “Didn’t you say that you came out to look at the moon?”

Lin Yanjun didn’t answer but instead asked back: “Do you know why there’s no sign of the moon tonight?”

You Zhangjing: “Why?”

Lin Yanjun looked at him and said: “Because the moon got too fat, and fell on the ground.”

 

24.

You Zhangjing had a really strange habit of maintaining a calm appearance despite being extremely nervous. He looked at Lin Yanjun with a blank face, yet his heart was beating loudly in his chest. He thought then, _what did Lin Yanjun mean by that? Did he refer to him as the moon? So did he come out to look at him? Why did he come out just to look at him? Is it because Yanjun likes him? If Yanjun really liked him then what was he supposed to do? Does he like Yanjun?_

 _Does he like Yanjun?_ This question exploded in his mind like fireworks. He relied on him, trusted him and yearned for him. _Did this amount to liking?_

You Zhangjing never had the experience of liking someone, and Lin Yanjun was certainly not a suitable first love. It was an unsuitable time, unsuitable place and they were of unsuitable gender.

Suddenly, You Zhangjing was afraid. The fear of not knowing what the future held replaced the nervousness in his heart and began to spread out. The image of Lin Yanjun’s intense stare from earlier in the practice room flashed across his eyes. It was then that he realized what exactly he was afraid of.

The moment he admits this thought, their path ahead would most certainly be extremely tough. Fear made You Zhangjing more aware of his own feelings, yet at the same time suppressed his courage to confirm the truth. He figured that he was lucky - though he was not happy with such luck - that there may be a possibility that Yanjun didn’t like himself, and that maybe it was just his own wishful thinking.

Between a bitter crush and a fruitless love, he couldn’t seem to decide which choice was better.

“What are you thinking about?” Lin Yanjun asked him.

The cold wind blew across the night as the trees swayed noisily. You Zhangjing avoided and said: “Nothing. It’s really cold out here, let’s go in.”

 

25.

When the two of them returned to the dorm room’s entrance, they met Lu Dinghao who had just returned from another room, his hand holding yet another egg.

“What were you guys up to?” Lu Dinghao asked with his eyebrows furrowed.

“I went to the convenience store.” You Zhangjing said.

“Didn’t you go with Chen Linong?” Lu Dinghao said. “Why did you guys come back together?”

Lu Dinghao looked over at Lin Yanjun and noticed that he was looking at You Zhangjing silently. You Zhangjing said: “He said he went to check if I went out to eat secretly.”

“Ew—” Lu Dinghao rubbed his own arms. “You guys make my flesh creep.”

You Zhangjing followed Lu Dinghao back into their dorm. Lin Chaoze poked his head out of his blanket: “Hurry up you guys. It’s already this late and you guys aren’t going to sleep yet?”

You Zhangjing hurriedly entered the bathroom to brush his teeth. Lu Dinghao cracked his egg open using the corner of his bed and said: “Wait, let me finish eating this egg first.”

“Do you want to eat ten eggs a day?” Lin Chaoze yelled.

“I don’t eat ten a day, okay? Stop exaggerating.”

You Zhangjing heard the sound of them quarreling as he brushed his teeth while facing the mirror. He was still immersed in the shock and worry of realizing the fact that he liked Lin Yanjun. Now the main problem was if Lin Yanjun liked him back. If he didn’t, then all is well. The most that could happen would be that he could only watch as Yanjun gets himself a girlfriend. _But since everyone here is about to be an idol, there’s no way he could get a girlfriend in the next three to five years, right?_

_But if Yanjun does like him—_

You Zhangjing stopped brushing. His electronic brush continued to make sounds as it whirled inside his mouth. _If Lin Yanjun really liked him back then what was he to do? Should they be together?_ **_Can_ ** _they be together? What if the company found out? What if the fans found out?_

It was just as he once said, he eagerly awaited the answer, but at the same time he was afraid of getting hurt by it. You Zhangjing’s mind melted into goo. He already knew since the beginning that his future was uncertain in this place, and now that path seemed more blurred than ever. He finished gargling and returned the toothbrush back in its original place, then walked out of the bathroom to close the windows. The night scene outside the window reminded You Zhangjing once again of what Lin Yanjun said earlier.

_The moon fell on the ground. Was that his new cheesy pick-up line? It sucks._

Finally, Lu Dinghao finished the egg in his hands. Everyone turned off their lights and went to bed. You Zhangjing lay on his bed and stared into the darkness. One moment he was afraid that Lin Yanjun would like him, then the next he’s afraid that Yanjun doesn’t like him. Eventually, he flipped and turned until even he himself had no idea as to what time he finally slept.

 

26.

The night before the rankings were announced, everyone gathered around to chat. For the past three months in this place, countless nights without cell phones were spent this way. Normally everyone would gather around and play with each other, but now that they were facing eliminations they just can’t seem to bring themselves up to have fun.

“Alright, cheer up everyone!” Lin Chaoze tapped on the suitcase which was lying on the ground. “Who wants to join me to buy some stuff?”

Chen Linong said: “Hey, I still have the snacks I bought yesterday.”

“Bring it over, bring it over!” Lin Chaoze said.

Chen Linong stood up and went to the room next door to get the stuff. At the same time, Lu Dinghao took out the gift that he got from his fans, a Truth or Dare box, and placed it on top of the suitcase before saying: “The person who makes the toy jump out will have to go on a shopping spree at the convenience store.”

Lin Yanjun sat beside You Zhangjing. When it was his turn he tried to scare Zhangjing by saying: “It’s going to jump out, it’s going to jump out.”

You Zhangjing gave him a slight push: “Stop scaring me!”

At the corridor, Justin who was holding a pack of spicy strips walked across their room. He stopped at the entrance to their room and asked: “What are you guys playing?”

Xu Kaihao: “We’re playing Truth or Dare.”

“I wanna play too,” Justin exclaimed loudly. “Justin wants to play too!”

He walked in and clung himself on You Zhangjing’s back. He looked at the sword in Zhangjing’s hands and said: “How do you play this?”

Lin Yanjun took the swords from You Zhangjing’s hands and shoved one of them into one of the empty slots firmly before saying: “Like this. Whoever makes the toy jump out, loses.”

“Hey,” You Zhangjing said. “Then this is considered as my turn.”

Chen Linong returned with the snacks and asked: “Has it jumped out yet?”

“Not yet,” Lin Chaoze said. “Who’s next?”

“Me, me, me,” Justin shoved the pack of spicy strips into You Zhangjing’s arms. “Let me, let me!”

Justin stuck himself unto You Zhangjing’s back like an octopus before reaching out a hand to stick one of the swords in. Lin Yanjun who was sitting by the bed smiled coldly as he looked at him. Justin was extremely lucky that day, for the toy jumped out with a loud pop. Just as it happened, he was ready to run, but was held back by first Lin Yanjun, then the rest as they proceeded to rub him to the ground.

“Help! Help! Fu Gui (Justin’s nickname) doesn’t know anything, Fu Gui is still a child!”

You Zhangjing laughed gleefully by the side. It was then that Justin reached out a hand to hold on to his pants and said: “Zhang Pang (directly translated as ‘getting fatter’), Zhang Pang, save me!”

You Zhangjing shied away from him: “What did you just call me?”

“Zhangjing, I’m sorry. Baby, hurry up and tell them to let me go. Aren’t I your most beloved Fu Gui?”

Lin Yanjun added more force into what he was doing, causing Justin to wiggle around as he yelled: “Lin Yanjun, you’re publicly taking revenge for a private grudge!”

“What private grudge?” Xu Kaihao asked curiously.

Justin took a glimpse at You Zhangjing before looking away. He was no longer talking, but was instead reduced to making small whimpers as he lay on the ground. You Zhangjing became nervous. Lin Chaoze also asked curiously: “What private grudge is there between the both of you?”

Justin didn’t answer. He saw Zhou Rui who was at the corridor and quickly yelled out: “Rui Jie, Rui Jie, save me!”

Zhou Rui glanced at him from afar before turning to speak to Wang Ziyi who was beside him: “Look at this naughty child. Thank goodness our Hao Hao is well-behaved.”

He turned back to look for Qian Zhenghao, and noticed that the person who was initially following behind them had gone missing: “Where’s Hao Hao?”

Justin yelled out from the room: “Rui Ge, I’m Hao Hao too. Your Hao Hao is here, hurry up and save him!”

“Where’s Qian Zhenghao?” Zhou Rui ignored him and walked back to look for Qian Zhenghao. “Where did my precious son go off to?”

When he realized that he had been abandoned by the whole world, Justin could only hide his shame and persevere through their abuse. Eventually, he had to agree to accompany Lin Chaoze out for a shopping spree at the convenience store.

“You don’t love me anymore,” Justin leaned on You Zhangjing tiredly. “I don’t wanna play with you guys anymore.”

He ignored Lin Yanjun’s glare and continued to cling on You Zhangjing as he acted like a spoiled child asking for more candy. _You’ve got to be kidding me,_ Justin thought, _you spent such a long time beating me. If I don’t take revenge then can I still consider myself as someone from Wenzhou?_ He said: “Zhangjing, Zhangjing, my shoulder hurts, help me massage it.”

Justin was younger than You Zhangjing by eight years and liked to act coquettishly with everyone he sees. In You Zhangjing’s eyes, he was just like a little brother. You Zhangjing said: “Stop leaning on me like this. Sit properly, I’ll massage you.”

“No,” Justin swiftly lay his head down on You Zhangjing’s legs. “I’m hurt. I can’t sit up.”

Lin Yanjun let out a soulless smile. He asked Lin Chaoze: “Sorry to bother you but, friend, why are you still here? Aren’t you supposed to be off to the convenience store?”

Lin Chaoze was flipping through the mess on their table: “Why are you rushing me?! I’m looking for my mask, hold on for a sec!”

Lu Dinghao said with a sharp tongue: “Who would take pictures of you in the middle of the night? Who do you think you are? Cai Xukun?”

“I’m willing,” Lin Chaoze finally found his mask. “I just like to pretend I’m really famous. Can you control me?”

 

27.

After the both of them had left, the amount of people left behind were too little, so they went out to the corridor to call out for more people. Zhou Rui had just been strolling back with Qian Zhenghao when he was pulled into the room by Lu Dinghao.

“Aiya,” Zhou Rui was holding a bag of snacks he got from someone’s room. He ate as he said: “How are there still people playing Truth or Dare in 2018?”

He pulled Qian Zhenghao to sit down with him. Qian Zhenghao smiled shyly. Zhou Rui said: “Come, let me show you some of my skills. Back in those days, when it came to this game your Rui Ge was certainly—”

He gave a big thumbs up to himself. Lu Dinghao said: “Are there even tricks to be played for Truth or Dare?”

“That’s a requirement,” Zhou Rui said. “Let’s start. I’ll let you guys see what it is to be truly  _sharp_.”

With Lin Yanjun around, no one dared to choose Truth. Now with the addition of Zhou Rui, it became equally tough to complete a Dare.

Lin Yanjun spoke confidently that his sword will not cause his death, but before he could finish his sentence, the toy had already jumped into the air. Then in the midst of everyone’s cheers and applause, it landed in front of him.

Those who previously lost had all chosen Dare. Lin Yanjun placed the toy back on the box and said: “Come on then. Truth.”

“Oh, oh!” Chen Linong jeered. “How brave, how brave.”

“I’m not afraid.” Lin Yanjun said. “Ask away.”

“Then I want to ask,” Xu Kaihao had the word gossip written all over his face. He squinted his eyes and gave a cheeky smile as he said, “Do you have a girlfriend now?”

Although You Zhangjing knew the answer, he couldn’t help but to look over at Lin Yanjun. He wanted to listen to how he was going to reply.

“Ai—” Lu Dinghao said helplessly, “Can you ask something more provoking? We all know the answer to this question.”

“I don’t know the answer. Do all of you know?” Xu Kaihao said.

Lu Dinghao: “We’ve been stuck with him for a year. How could we not know if he has a girlfriend or not? Just change the question, okay?”

“Hey, no way. There’s only this one chance. No changing.” Lin Yanjun said.

Lu Dinghao rolled his eyes: “What else is there to say? Let’s go for another round.”

“Wait a minute,” Lin Yanjun said. “I have yet to answer.”

“Kind deeds often go unappreciated,” Lu Dinghao said. “Say it quickly. Once you’re done we’ll start the next round.”

Lin Yanjun: “I don’t have a girlfriend now—”

Lu Dinghao removed the swords from the box one by one and placed them down carefully. As he began to prepare for a new game, he heard Lin Yanjun say: “But I do have someone I like.”

The sword in Lu Dinghao’s hands fell with a “PA” unto the suitcase. He covered his mouth with both his hands and caught a glimpse of You Zhangjing before quickly looking back. Chen Linong lifted his head and took a glance at the camera which was attached to the wall.

Zhou Rui yelled as he held his head in his hands: “Oh, oh, oh, he exposed himself, he exposed himself!”

Justin and Lin Chaoze had just returned and were at the corridor when they heard their yells. Justin ran in with the plastic bags and said: “What’s up? What happened?”

Zhou Rui: “Lin Yanjun just exposed himself and said that he has someone he likes.”

“Who?! Who is it?!” Lin Chaoze followed in. “Do I know that person?!”

“Is it me?” Justin said. “Is it Justin?”

Xu Kaihao: “I think it’s me.”

You Zhangjing peeped at Lin Yanjun nervously. Zhou Rui asked: “Seriously though, is it someone from around here?”

Lin Yanjun leaned sideways and placed his arm on the bed as his eyes came into contact with You Zhangjing’s careful ones. You Zhangjing looked away hurriedly. Lin Yanjun observed his nervous expression and hesitated for a few seconds before saying to the others: “I was just joking, was it not funny?”

* * *

[ [permission](https://78.media.tumblr.com/3b903d5f06d9ca4c87db23508e2afa76/tumblr_pa1364nMmw1wq7il4o1_1280.png) l [source](http://qimeiqimeipiaoliangdemeimei.lofter.com/post/1f62970c_12a477fa) l original author: 九妹九妹漂亮的妹妹 ]

unauthorised distribution is  **NOT ALLOWED**

if you have any comments for the original author do leave them down below and i will relay it to her !

* * *

alright, so the reason why this fic is well-known between the fans of zhangjun ( as some of you may have noticed ) was because of how real it all felt; as if you were reading a diary entry. the way everything was described and the way the trainees spoke to each other, it was as if you could see it in your head; like it was happening in real life. the realism of it all was what attracted the fans to this story, and would lead me to enter the main point of this end note.

there was someone on weibo who analyzed this story in great detail and i would love to translate it, but i need to know if you guys would be interested in reading it. as of 27/6 the poll has ended and i've posted the results on my tumblr account → [ [lincng](https://lincng.tumblr.com/post/175294181126/hey-guys-so-ive-received-the-poll-results-and) ]. also, if you guys wanna ask me questions or anything feel free to drop me an ask there and i will reply you as soon as i can. with that said, see you guys for the final update in a few days time !


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the final chapter is here ! thanks for the constant support everyone. there will be some important stuff in the end notes so do check it out. without further ado, enjoy the story !

28.

You Zhangjing’s emotions were momentarily conflicted. He was unsure of what answer did he actually want to hear from Lin Yanjun. He didn’t know what he expected from Lin Yanjun, and was more uncertain as to what he was to do.

Lu Dinghao put down his hands and said: “Not funny. Next time, don’t say this kind of lame jokes.”

Suddenly, Xu Kaihao said: “Were you really joking?”

Everyone looked at him. Xu Kaihao said: “He looked pretty serious.”

“You’re right,” Zhou Rui jeered. “Quickly tell us who it is!”

Justin sat down beside You Zhangjing and poured out the snacks from the plastic bag. He said: “No matter what cold jokes Teacher Yanjun says he’s always so serious. I need to learn from him.”

“How did you know that he looked serious?” Lu Dinghao said, clearly unimpressed. “Doesn’t he look like this all day, every day?”

Xu Kaihao glanced over at Lin Yanjun who remained in his earlier position of leaning of the bed, his expression cold as he looked at everyone.

“What are you looking at me for?” Lin Yanjun asked.

“Alright,” You Zhangjing said. “Let’s just hurry up and continue the game.”

Lin Yanjun dipped his head and let out a smile which was almost unnoticeable. The group of people returned back to their noisy state. When it was around 1am, some people went to sleep and the corridor gradually went quiet. Zhu Zhengting came over with his facial mask still on and pulled away Huang Minghao who was still munching on his snacks. Cai Xukun had also returned from the practice building. When he passed by their room, he asked from the entrance: “Hao Hao, aren’t you going to bed yet?”

Qian Zhenghao took a glimpse at Zhou Rui. Zhou Rui said: “If you want to go back you can go with your Kun Ge first. I still want to play for a short while.”

He called it playing, but in truth everyone was just chatting away while sitting in odd positions on the ground. Qian Zhenghao stood up and left together with Cai Xukun. Chen Linong stared blankly at the door as he laid on the floor.

You Zhangjing was a little tired too, but he didn’t want to go to bed. After tomorrow, this place will feel more deserted, so everyone wanted to hold on to the end of such a merry atmosphere. He rested his head on the ladder of the double decker bed and listened to everyone’s conversation quietly. Zhou Rui was sharing his stories from filming ‘The Eight Immortals In School’ back then.

Lin Yanjun stood up to drink some water at the side of the table. When he returned, he had You Zhangjing’s green water tumbler in his hands.

“Then before we could start filming, we had to burn the incense and everyone had to pray.” Zhou Rui said.

Lin Yanjun passed the water tumbler to You Zhangjing as he continued to listen to Zhou Rui who said: “I asked the director as to which God were we praying to. The director told me to just pray to any God and that I could just pray to any God I wanted to pray to. It didn’t matter even if it was the Monkey King. Then I—”

He stopped and said to Lin Yanjun who had been standing there: “Is there any water left? I’m really thirsty from having spoken so long.”

Lin Yanjun said: “There’s still water in the kettle.”

Zhou Rui: “Pour some for me.”

Lin Yanjun said down beside You Zhangjing and said: “Pour it yourself.”

“Look at this, this is what we call ‘men’!” Zhou Rui stood up, pulling his slippers as he went to pour himself some water. “When I have makeup on everyone acts differently, but when I have no makeup on I can’t even get someone to pour me a glass of water.”

You Zhangjing drank the water from his water tumbler. Xu Kaihao said: “He just doesn’t want to pour water for you. See, he got water for You Zhangjing.”

Zhou Rui: “How can I be compared with You Zhangjing? The two of them are always acting sweet together. Even when they are running they have to lock the door.”

“I got it,” Xu Kaihao said abruptly. “The person that Lin Yanjun likes is You Zhangjing.”

Zhou Rui came back with a glass of water and said: “Look how smart you are.”

Xu Kaihao and Lin Chaoze laughed loudly. Chen Linong secretly took a glimpse at You Zhangjing before pretending to laugh along.

“Impressive,” Lin Yanjun said. “Congratulations, you guessed right.”

 

29.

Xu Kaihao and Lin Chaoze couldn’t stop laughing. The ones who understood said nothing, while those who knew nothing didn’t take him seriously. The truth was always hidden in jokes; and love always had a tendency to appear and happen quietly around us. Lin Yanjun’s obscured confession traveled to You Zhangjing’s ears clearly through the noisy crowd. He thought then, _oh my god, Lin Yanjun really likes me._

He wanted to look at Lin Yanjun, but he simply couldn’t muster up the courage to do so. Within such timidness contained shyness for a lover and hid the worries of a forbidden love.

Lin Yanjun knows he’s afraid. Lin Yanjun had always been able to notice other people’s fear. It may be because he’s thoughtful and sensitive, or perhaps this was a talent given to those with born with courage. He knew You Zhangjing was afraid of doing the wrong thing, and was more afraid of loving the wrong person. As they walked on this seemingly rebellious path of the world of entertainment, a lot of people would have chosen to behave accordingly. They chose to follow to the rules of the camera, and to dance with the regulations of popularity. Yet they have also lost what normal people had, which was the courage to pursue their love.

 _Thank goodness,_ Lin Yanjun thought, _thank goodness I still have the courage to love you._

 

30.

After the rankings were announced, it was time for the third round of performances. The remaining trainees did not even have the time to dwell on their sadness of the farewells as they immediately dived into practice.

On the 5th, everyone was going to Beijing to do a recording. Millions of houses were lit from within after working hours. The fans who were crammed outside mostly came for the trainees within the top ranks, which were mainly those clustered around Cai Xukun. Lin Yanjun put up the hood of his blue sweater and followed behind You Zhangjing as they entered the big bus.

The seats on the bus had very limited space and they were all wearing winter clothing which were extremely thick. Usually, the trainees would not want to sit together. You Zhangjing casually found a seat and sat down before waving to the fans outside the window. Lin Yanjun sat down behind him before tugging on You Zhangjing’s cap and said: “Come and sit here.”

You Zhangjing was still a little nervous when it came to facing Lin Yanjun. He pursed his lips together before standing up obediently. Lin Yanjun pulled up the curtain and allowed him to sit by the window. Han Mubo who was passing them by said: “Don’t you guys think it’s a tight squeeze?”

“It’s fine.” Lin Yanjun replied casually.

After a while, Lin Chaoze entered the bus as well. He asked: “Why are you guys sitting together when there are so many seats around? Don’t you think it’s a tight squeeze?”

Han Mubo said from the back: “That’s what I asked too.”

You Zhangjing: “It’s not a tight squeeze!”

Zhou Rui who had occupied two seats alone, crossed his legs and said: “I guess the both of them have such a good relationship that they love to sit together.”

Han Mubo said: “You should be more aware of your image.”

Zhou Rui sighed: “Don’t worry, no one is going to come and take pictures of our bus just yet. Chen Linong has yet to get on. Also, I’m pulling up the curtains now.”

Han Mubo poked his head out from the curtains behind him to take a peek at the other bus and said: “My goodness, there are way too many people around that bus.”

“Cai Xukun is on that bus so there’s no way that it won’t be crowded.” Zhou Rui said. “Even my younger sister wanted to me to get Cai Xukun’s autograph.”

You Zhangjing nodded fervently: “My younger sister too—”

Han Mubo: “Didn’t your younger sister like Zhu Xingjie?”

“I can get Zhu Xingjie’s autograph anytime.” Zhou Rui said. “I can even get him to sign a whole box for me.”

“Hey, Lin Yanjun, I remember that you have a younger sister too.” Han Mubo asked as he leaned forward, resting his upper body on the seat.

“You’re right,” Lin Yanjun nodded. “She wouldn’t dare to ask me to get her autographs.”

Han Mubo: “Why?”

Lin Yanjun: “It’ll cause a brother and sister’s relationship to fall apart.”

Han Mubo’s expression was one of confusion. You Zhangjing let out a cheeky laugh before turning his head to say: “He’s really stingy. You can only ask for his autograph and not other people’s.”

Lin Chaoze turned around and said: “Exactly.”

“This is a matter of principle,” Lin Yanjun said. “I’m your elder brother. You want other people’s autograph instead of your elder brother’s and you still have the audacity to ask me to get them? This sort of thing will never happen to me.”

You Zhangjing covered his smile with his hands. Zhou Rui said: “Very domineering, the most domineering school hunk.”

You Zhangjing jokingly said: “Lin Yanjun, could you give me your autograph?”

Zhou Rui: “Lin Yanjun says, sorry but I don’t have a pen with me.” He ended with a laugh.

Han Mubo and Lin Chaoze laughed along as well. It was then that Jeffrey entered the bus with a black bag. He asked: “What are you guys laughing about?”

Zhou Rui: “You Zhangjing asked for an autograph from Lin Yanjun. We said that he didn’t bring a pen.”

Jeffrey opened his bag and said: “I brought a pen.”

“But, why does You Zhangjing want Lin Yanjun’s autograph?” Jeffrey asked.

“Aiya,” Zhou Rui said helplessly: “We’re joking.”

“Oh,” Jeffrey found a seat at the back and sat down. “I actually wanted to ask why did you guys even need signatures from each other.”

“Exactly,” Zhou Rui said. “Why would the two of them need signatures from each other.”

“I guess they need to sign on the marriage certificate.” Han Mubo said.

Zhou Rui laughed wildly: “You’re really good at this.”

“It’s so obvious that you guys have never gotten married before,” Lin Chaoze said. “You don’t need each other to sign on a marriage certificate, ok?”

“Are you guys done yet?!” You Zhangjing said.

“Oh my, judging by how you’re talking, have you gotten married before?” Han Mubo said.

“This is general knowledge alright? General knowledge!” Lin Chaoze said as he rolled his eyes.

 

31.

When the bus started its journey, You Zhangjing pulled open the curtains. He stared blankly at the scene of billboards and the silhouettes of trees. When they passed by the business district, the image of fried chicken from the advertisement placed outside of KFC was deeply imprinted in You Zhangjing’s mind.

You Zhangjing: “I’m so hungry.”

Lin Yanjun: “What did you eat last night?”

“I didn’t eat anything,” You Zhangjing said. “There was no time to eat.”

Lin Yanjun leaned forward to ask Jeffrey: “Do you still have some eggs?”

Jeffrey said: “I didn’t bring the eggs out today.”

Zhou Rui: “Why, have you finished your whole box of eggs?”

Jeffrey nodded: “I just bought a new box this morning.”

“You eat them so quickly!” Zhou Rui said. “How many do you eat in a day?”

“It’s actually not that much.” Jeffrey said.

“It’s Lu Dinghao who finished it for him!” Lin Chaoze complained. “He eats ten eggs a day!”

“You’re exaggerating.” You Zhangjing said with a smile.

“Did any one of you bring something edible?” Lin Yanjun asked.

Chen Linong said: “Hey, I have some chocolates.”

Lin Yanjun received the chocolate which was passed from the back by Chen Linong. Zhou Rui: “One moment you forbid him from eating, then the next moment you’re helping him look for food. What’s up with that? Is he still on a diet?”

“He didn’t have his dinner,” Lin Yanjun peeled open the chocolate wrapper and broke it in half before passing it to You Zhangjing. “You can only eat half of it.”

“I didn’t have dinner too,” Zhou Rui said. “I’m telling you, if you want to lose weight you should limit yourself to only one meal per day. It won’t work if you eat like him. You especially can’t eat so many meals. Look at the amount of rice he has on the tray in the cafeteria, it’s piled up like a mountain.”

“Look at yourself,” Zhou Rui said to You Zhangjing. “The meat on your face is growing horizontally.”

You Zhangjing munched on the chocolate as he said: “You, shut up!”

“Hey,” Han Mubo said. “Zhou Rui, I noticed that you’ve really lost a lot of weight as compared to when you first entered. At the beginning, your face was like——”

He used his hands to gesture a shape around his face. Zhou Rui said: “Everyday I did push ups, crunches and I ran. When I ran I made sure that it was at least for eight kilometers. Then when I ate I made sure that there was no salt and oil and I avoided stuff like chocolates. Adding on to that was our usual practice. How could I not lose weight?”

Han Mubo squinted his eyes as he looked at him: “You look better after losing weight.”

Zhou Rui: “I’m warning you, if you continue to look at me with that kind of expression you’ll get hit.”

“Ugh— ” You Zhangjing scrunched his face and said: “You’re so cruel to yourself.”

“Men have to be more cruel to themselves,” Zhou Rui said. “If they were like you, who lacks self control with the addition of someone beside you who would always search for food for you, I wonder at which year will you finally be able to slim down.”

“I think your plan will not do,” Lin Yanjun said. “Your plan isn’t good for the body.”

Lin Yanjun said to You Zhangjing: “What you ought to eat, you should continue eating. But just refrain from eating too much.”

“Correct—” You Zhangjing agreed as he pulled on the last syllable.

“What do you mean ‘correct’?” Lin Chaoze said. “Have you succeeded in not overeating? You continuously snack in the dorm every day!”

Zhou Rui: “Sometimes when this guy who’s trying to lose weight fails to control himself, you guys who are around him should look after him.”

“He doesn’t listen to what I say,” Lin Chaoze rolled his eyes. “No one can control him, with the exception of Lin Yanjun.”

“What about Chen Linong?” Zhou Rui said. “Didn’t Chen Linong supervise him last time?”

Lin Yanjun turned around and stared at the both of them.  Chen Linong’s desire to live was so full to the point that it burst and caused him to say: “Hey, I can’t control him either. He doesn’t listen to me whenever I try to stop him from eating.”

“Since when did he not listen?” Zhou Rui asked curiously. “Didn’t you take away his bread in one of the previous episodes?”

“No, that wasn’t it,” Chen Linong said incoherently. “I, that - the point is, he’s more willing to listen to what Lin Yanjun says.”

“It can’t be Lin Yanjun,” Zhou Rui said. “He doesn’t even supervise him properly. The way I see it, is that Yanjun is the kind who would spoil him. He may say that he won’t allow You Zhangjing to eat, but he’ll always be unable to help but to give him food.”

“You’re right,” Lin Chaoze agreed. “When the staff members from our company dropped by, he would also help You Zhangjing to cover up. It was so obvious that he got fat, yet he said it was edema. Please, did you take everyone as fools?”

“You guys are really annoying,” You Zhangjing said. “If you wanna chat then just chat. Why do you guys keep mentioning that I’m fat?”

“It’s for your own good,” Zhou Rui said. “When you just came, you were so thin.”

You Zhangjing retorted with a guilty heart: “I’m still really thin now.”

“You’re right,” Lin Yanjun said with a smile: “80 pounds, 80 pounds.”

“This is the what the legends call as,” Han Mubo said. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

 

32.

After they entered the highway, it gradually went quiet in the bus. For the past two days, the practice for their task was heavy. Everyone was stuck in the condition of sleep deprivation. The one hour trip back from the recording studio was considered as a small moment of leisure in the midst of their busy schedule and allowed them to take a short rest.

You Zhangjing had his down jacket’s hood put up and was sleeping in the seat with his head tilted sideways. Lin Yanjun looked to his side. The lights on the roof of the bus had been turned off by the driver while the rays of sunlight from outside would occasionally fall on You Zhangjing’s face.

Lin Yanjun stared at the shadows formed by You Zhangjing’s eyelashes as he tried to figure out why he fell in love with a guy when he never had the tendency to do so; and why did it suddenly have to be him? Yet despite his efforts, he just couldn’t think of an answer. But he did remember something he read from somewhere, that love was always unreasonable.

His gaze fell on You Zhangjing’s lips again. The image of You Zhangjing sleeping made his heart itch. _Should I try to steal a kiss?_ Lin Yanjun turned and looked over at Zhou Rui who was on the other side, sleeping soundly as he laid down on two seats. He turned his head back again and thought, _if I want to kiss him then I should do it openly. How can I be considered a man if I steal a kiss?_ But although that was the justification, he still couldn’t do it in reality. His eyes were firmly fixed on You Zhangjing’s face and he thought again, _since he’s going to become mine someday, there’s no harm in stealing a kiss beforehand, right?_

Two shadows could be vaguely seen on the curtains. Lin Yanjun leaned closer before dipping his head to plant a kiss on his lips. The size of the down jacket’s hood was wide enough to cover both their faces completely. The sound of You Zhangjing’s even breaths traveled into his ears.

Lin Yanjun’s hand which was placed on the chair to support him was trembling slightly. He didn’t want to admit that he was nervous, but he could hear the sound of his own heart beating loudly in this silent bus.

The kiss was very light. Lin Yanjun leaned back quickly and lifted his head to look out the window at the fields which were passing by. You Zhangjing changed his sleeping position as he dreamt, his head tilted more towards Lin Yanjun.

Lin Yanjun’s heartbeat had yet to return to its normal pace. He sat straight and pushed You Zhangjing’s head slightly so that he could lean on his shoulder. As the bus moved ahead at a steady pace, Lin Yanjun too, closed his eyes and fell asleep.

 

33.

When You Zhangjing was still half asleep, he felt someone holding his hand, the cold temperature causing him to wake up fully.

He opened his eyes and realized that he had been using Lin Yanjun’s shoulder as a pillow. Lin Yanjun was holding his hand, tossing and turning it as he observed. You Zhangjing asked with a whisper: “What are you doing? Why are your hands so cold?”

Lin Yanjun said: “Didn’t you want an autograph?”

Before You Zhangjing could make out a response, Lin Yanjun opened up his hands, palm up and placed it in his own palm before saying: “I’ll sign it for you.”

Lin Yanjun drew out down his name with his finger on You Zhangjing’s palm so carefully and gently, that the slight feeling itchiness from his skin seemed to seep through and connect to his heart. Someone was snoring from the back. Time seemed to stop in the bus. You Zhangjing lifted his head and looked at Lin Yanjun’s handsome features under the dim lights. Suddenly, he felt at ease.

The world was troubled and boisterous, but Lin Yanjun could always give him a sense of security. Whether it was back then when they were in the company or even now as they participate in this show, Lin Yanjun had always been by his side. Various memories flashed through You Zhangjing’s mind, the Lin Yanjun who accompanied him as they ran, the Lin Yanjun who bought him medicine and the Lin Yanjun who would always have his gaze secretly fixated on him. Lin Yanjun did not know how to speak honeyed words, nor would he pledge his undying love. But he could give him a shoulder to lean on, and could give him the courage to love each other without any hesitation.

Lin Yanjun drew the last word on his palm before closing up his right hand into a fist and said: “Now you’ve caught me.”

 

34.

You Zhangjing was caught in a daze as he looked down at his fist which was being held in the other’s hand. Lin Yanjun glanced over at his drooping eyelids and asked: “What are you thinking about?”

You Zhangjing’s heartbeat was no longer rapid and lost, but instead it was beating at a steady and strong pace, just like how a surging river flowed into the calming sea, and before his eyes was only an endless love.

You Zhangjing said: “I was wondering if you like to eat Nasi Lemak.”

Lin Yanjun said: “I’ve never eaten it before.”

You Zhangjing: “Then I’ll take you to eat it someday.”

Lin Yanjun: “Where would we eat it?”

You Zhangjing: “If you want to eat Nasi Lemak then of course you will have to go to Malaysia.”

Lin Yanjun pretended not to understand: “There are so many places in Malaysia. If you don’t say it clearly then how am I supposed to know where are we going to eat it?”

“Do you have to make me to say it?” You Zhangjing was ashamed and annoyed. “We’ll eat it at my home!”

When the bus passed over the deceleration strip it caused the vehicle to sway a little. Lin Chaoze who was sleeping on the seat in front of them hit his head on the window and caused him to wake up abruptly. Just then, he heard what You Zhangjing said and turned around to ask: “What? Eat what at your home? Are you going home?”

You Zhangjing and Lin Yanjun were smiling as they sat together. Lin Chaoze thought then that the atmosphere between them was a little strange, but he just couldn’t put his finger on what was actually strange about it. He asked: “What are you guys laughing about?”

You Zhangjing covered his mouth, his eyes curved into a line as he smiled before saying: “Nothing.”

“What the heck,” Lin Chaoze looked to the side at Lin Yanjun who was also smiling and said, “What is up with the both of you?”

The bus stopped at a toll. The lights from the toll shone into the bus, waking many people up. Zhou Rui sat up and asked with an indistinct tone: “Are we there yet?”

“Not yet.” Lin Yanjun said.

The clearly evident smile which Lin Yanjun had failed to conceal gave Zhou Rui a shock. He said: “Why are you smiling?”

“Who knows,” Lin Chaoze leaned on the seat as he spoke. “They were both like this the moment I woke up.”

Chen Linong woke up as well. He hugged his bag as he sat over to chat.

“Come on, share the good news.” Zhou Rui said.

“What happened?” Chen Linong’s hair was in a mess as he asked with a confused look.

You Zhangjing: “It’s nothing.”

“I’m telling you guys,” Zhou Rui pointed at You Zhangjing as he said, “Just by looking at his expression you would know that it’s clearly not just _nothing_.”

Lin Chaoze said: “I just heard You Zhangjing say something about going home.”

“Really?” Chen Linong’s eyes widened. “Is there going to be a holiday?”

“No,” You Zhangjing said. “What holiday? Don’t even think about it.”

Lin Yanjun stretched out before resting both his arms on the back of his seat with a smirk. Zhou Rui said: “Are you that happy? What in the world happened?”

“Sorry,” Lin Yanjun said. “I’m not telling you.”

Chen Linong stared at the both of them with his mouth open before suddenly exclaiming with an: “Ah!”

Zhou Rui: “What happened?”

Chen Linong looked at the both of them in surprise. Lin Chaoze asked: “Why? Why did you say ‘Ah?”

“It’s nothing,” Chen Linong said. “I was just imitating Xu Kaihao.”

“Xu Kaihao isn’t like that,” Lin Yanjun said. “You need to be louder and there has to be more momentum, like so - Ah! ”

Everyone on the bus started to laugh and began to imitate Xu Kaihao continuously. They had forgotten to resume their earlier interrogation. Chen Linong stole a glimpse at You Zhangjing who had coincidentally been looking at him as well. He gave Linong a smile.

Chen Linong smiled back. He looked out the window. Beyond the vast field was a sky full of stars and the lights which were emitted from the toll brightened both sides of the road ahead. The trees at the side of the road was beginning to bloom with small yellow flowers.

Spring was here.

* * *

[ [permission](https://78.media.tumblr.com/3b903d5f06d9ca4c87db23508e2afa76/tumblr_pa1364nMmw1wq7il4o1_1280.png) l [source](http://qimeiqimeipiaoliangdemeimei.lofter.com/post/1f62970c_12a8e427) l original author: 九妹九妹漂亮的妹妹 ]

unauthorised distribution is  **NOT ALLOWED**

if you have any comments for the original author do leave them down below and i will relay it to her !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe that its already the end ! its been a great journey will all of you. thank you for bearing with my typos and odd grammar; i love y'all. i just hope that the story will be able to have a good place in your memories as it did in mine. zhangjun is truly a ship which sails itself ! however while this has ended, the analysis begins ! for those who are new around here i have explained the reason for the analysis in a link provided at the end of the third chapter so do check that out. below is a preview of a crucial part required for the analysis, which is a part of the author's note after the end of the story:
> 
> "At first, I only wanted to write a short story. However due to the fact that I didn't have a draft, it became longer than I expected ... The reason why I named this story as it is, was because I wanted to write down the process of how the both of them realized their feelings. Now that the they already have recognized their love for each other, the story shall end here ..."
> 
> for those who read the reason for the analysis, you would know that if you read this from a certain someone's perspective, it would seem rather mind-boggling to you. in fact, if you read the whole story from that person's point of view, you will come to notice how eerily real it all feels. with that said, i hope you guys will enjoy the analysis and see y'all next time ! bye ~
> 
> update 23/7: the analysis of the first chapter has been written and ready to be posted on Saturday 12am GMT / 8am EST ! also, it'll be linked to this story as a series so you guys can have easier access to it. i will be posting it on tumblr as well ( lincng ) so that it's easier for mobile users. thank you for your patience and i hope to see you guys there !


End file.
